3. David Brooks -- New York Times Columnist on Health Care.
Brooks starts out his column stating that everywhere health care reform has been tried, it has become politically untouchable and a boon to the people who have it. (Can you say Medicare anyone?) He also talks about how a country as it grows wealthy improves the care of its citizenry and then he pulls off this fuck up: "Instead of reducing costs, the bills in Congress would probably raise them. They would mean that more of the nation's wealth would be siphoned off from productive uses and shifted into a still wasteful health care system."
Mr. Brooks -- keeping the citizens healthy isn't productive and is wasteful? And money in the economy isn't like poring it down the drain. It doesn't disappear if you spend it on keeping people healthy. It goes to Doctors and nurses and pharmacys and hospitals and medical machinery manufacturers. Who then spend it in real live American communities. And what benefit do we get from the huge profits of medical insurance companies? Profiting off of insuring health care seems like the biggest of wastes.
He says that health care is a moral choice, but then goes on about how it is a financial one. His morals are in his money -- and that is fucked up.
2. Republicans Killing Trees To Make A Point About Killing People.
This week, Republicans pulled out a trick used by every high school student who ever had to turn in a five page paper and had only written a page and a half-- change the margins, increase the font size, change the spacing and magically a 209 page Senate Health Care Bill becomes bigger than War and Peace, the Bible and the Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
Oh, and make sure you refer to the Bill as bigger than War and Peace because then everyone will know that no one has really read it. Oh, and one more thing -- don't tell anyone it is smaller than the Bush Era "No Child Left Behind" Act.
Oh, and Mr. Hannity, while you are trashing the frauduletnly typed out health care bill -- don't forget to apologize to the families and friends of the 44,000 people who die each year from lack of health insurance -- you can tell them that the bill has a page for each dead person -- oh, wait, sorry the bill isn't long enough for that.
1. The New Peruvian Diet Plan aka Get Slim or Die
In the spirit of Mr. Brooks and the Republicans attempting to thwart any meaningful health care reform and Jonathan Swift's Modest Proposal, our Southern neighbors down in Peru have come up with their own solution to the health care crisis, including a cosmetic surgery option.
Hire the criminal gangs to go around killing the fat people and drain their fat for use by the really rich people to keep their lips plump. Legalizing the killing of fat people will cut down on crime. Rappers will get skinnier, Snoop Dog will be In, 50Cent will have to watch his weight and Run DMZ is in serious trouble.
Cosmetic surgeons will get rich using the fat where it is more aesthetically appealing. Think of the possibilities of breast implants with real live human fat -- it feels so real, because it is. We can also tax the plastic surgeons extra and use that money for further health care reform.
It is a known fact that fat people account for the largest expenditures in our health care system. We can even give the gangs special incentive bonsues for bumping off diabetics, immune deficiency carriers and cancer sufferers which will help keep health care costs down.
Hospitals can be given a dispensation to unplug machines before the fat shrinks on an IV diet. The fat can then be immediately harvested and the profits reinvested in health care infrastructure.
Finally, everyone talks about the need for preventive health care, but what better incentive is there to get the lard ass off the couch than a gang who will harvest you if you are too fat? Let's take a lesson from our Peruvian friends and solve our health care crisis.
Health Care Crisis Solved.
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