Laissez Fair Orgies of Capitalism

Used under a Creative Commons License -- Thanks photoport

The problem with most capitalists is that they do not value or understand how important rules and regulations are to the game they are playing.  To explain this, let me explain to you the rules of the Orgy.

1.  Don't touch unless you have permission.

This is the first rule of any successful orgy.  If people start touching willy nilly or Nilly's willy or Fanny's wanny, without permission you don't have an orgy, you have a brawl.  Lots of yelling, screaming and hair pulling of the un-fun variety.  In an orgy, you get to own your own body.   The equivalent in capitalism is the rule that you can own your own materialistic shit.  Without this rule, your laissez fair market becomes something known as War.

2.  Orgies have hosts who enforce the rules.

Any successful orgy has a gracious host.  Think Caligula.  You are an ancient, horny Roman and you want to find some Nubian princess or you are some Roman Senator's daughter that wants some august, dick-tatorial, rampaging of your ramparts then Caligula's Orgy is the place to go.  Being the smart soul that you are, you know that Caligula sets the rules so that you can play in  decadence.  The main thing is to not piss him off at the orgy or you could be getting your head chopped off at the Coliseum.  This is the downside to orgies that is often neglected by the hedonists.  Lest you think I'm making up 2000 year old stuff, think about the latest club of decadent drinking and dancing you went to and think about the 6'5" 280 pound lean muscle mass that greeted you at the door.  Piss off the orgy's proprietor and feel the bouncer's wrath.

Capitalists have bouncers too.  They are called cops, attorneys and courts -- and they carry much more weaponry and power than even an orgy's bouncer -- and possibly even Caligula.

3.  Do not believe anyone who tells you that orgies don't need rules.

Would you go to an orgy with a guy that tells you that there will be absolutely no rules?  That would be like saying you can't wait to go to the Marquis De Sade's Orgy featuring no rules.  Orgies without rules are called chaos and death.  So what does the hedonist mean when he tells you there are no rules?  Come on girls, I bet you know this one.  That's right, a guy tells you there are no rules -- so he can take advantage of you.  Same goes with orgies, same goes with capitalists.

I've got to hand it to the capitalists though.  They take it a step further.  Go back to Rule 1, the fundamental rule -- you have the right to protect your own skin.  The original premise of the American Orgy was that all are created equal with certain rights, including life, liberty, pursuing pussy, I mean happiness -- OK, same thing, and property.  In addition for the American Orgy, the rules of the Orgy are to be determined by the participants in the Orgy.

The capitalists tell us that rules and regulations are bad.  They tell us that it is the rule makers who are the problem.  They tell us this while using our own rules and our own enforcers to fuck with us.  The government, we the people, is not the problem.  The rules are not the problem.  It is the assholes who are spoiling all the fun who need to get the bouncer to kick them out of the fucking Orgy.  Where's Caligula when you need him?