- WARNING: If you are an ex, I wouldn't read this if I were you. You have been warned. What is an American Orgy without a Declaration of Independence?
A DECLARATION OF FUCKING INDEPENDENCE
When, in the course of human events, it became necessary for one man to dissolve the fucking bands which connected him to other cunts in his past, in order to assume the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature entitles him, and with a decent respect for the opinions of Facebook, requires that he should declare his independence from his eXes.
I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women's cunts are not created equal, one cunt, in particular, is endowed with certain delectable delights, that among these are tight, slippery and the pussy of my happiness. That to secure this particular cunt, I wooed and wed, deriving my just powers from her consent. Now whenever any former cunt becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of this man to respond to it, and to lay the foundations on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to what seems most likely to effect his own safety and happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that men with long established eXes should not be bothered for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that men usually just take it and simply abolish all forms of contact with the eXes. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably some insane and unknown objective, it is a man's right, it is his duty, to throw off such eXes --
Such has been the patient sufferance of this blogger; and such was the necessity which constrained him after ten plus years to alter his status and bed down with Vice, the pussy of happiness. The history of the present eXes is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations and to prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.
My submission to the candid world is this -- a candid portrait of what I wrote Vice last night as she was out ca-noodling with her girlfriend S:
Dearest Vice,
I still find it hard to believe that my eXes reads this blog, but it makes me really laugh pretty fucking hard if they are. I'm going to fuck you so hard when you get home. I love it how in the morning, I get hard, hit my hand on the lotion jar that really contains KY and pump it on my hand, lather my cock and just fuck you from behind as we fuck and roll through the early morning.
Do you hear that eXes? I fuck her -- morning, noon and night. We both smell like a fucking brothel. My cock is pushing against the laptop and mostly, I want to know if it turns you on that I think about my eXes reading how much I love fucking you, even though you fucking maimed my cock so that it hit your G-spot, a physiological google search that automatically hits the G-spot because your cunt bent me to your will.
Read it and fucking weep-- her cunt straightened this twisted soul and for that she gets my cock in her cunt for all time and all fucking eternity as she and I fuck the whole fucking world.
What are you going to do know that you've read this you peeky, sneeky, petty little dry cunts? Go show it to your friends and tell them how fucking awful I am? Is this fiction or reality? Is he just fucking with me? No, I'm fucking her, her luscious curves, her luscious ass -- I slam in and slam in and what are you going to fucking do? It isn't even my old cock that is fucking her, it is a new resurrected cock, fucking her, bent to her holy will and baptized in her bi-sexual cunt. You may pretend at being bisexual, but she is the real deal. Cunt makes her woozy and slippery. You just want to use cunt to get at my cock, because you don't understand why I wouldn't want your dry, arid, frigid cunt lips.
You know she has pictures of me fucking you -- We laugh at your dry cunts.
She is my fucking machine and I fucking love her. And what are you going to fucking do about it?
Right now she is licking cunt -- you aren't. She sucked my cock today. Wrapped her lips tight around it. Took it deep. Ah, but you don't fucking have pictures like we do.
Go show your friends this post.
Go tell them what a fucker I am.
I'm not the one that is fucking reading my ex's blog. Do you even have a blog? Pretty sad fucking ad on AFF, your ex-witchiness.
Thought that whole fucking swinging idea was mine
Or at least that is what you told the kids.
Could you take this and publish it?
Say look what a bastard he is.
But I write fiction. This couldn't be fucking real, could it?
Couldn't handle being ex by yourself so you went and recruited more. Say what you want about me, but I have my woman, my cunt, my love -- The woman I can fuck the entire fucking world with.
You show anyone this and they will know you are the snoopy, non-existent ass or flabby ass eX that just couldn't handle the fact that my discernment, discerned you as lacking.
Fuck your snoopiness.
I wondered if it was evil to be so fucking mean. Then I thought, would it be mean if she wrote this about me? No, it wouldn't. Why?? Because I wouldn't even fucking know you had done it because I don't give a rat's ass what you write, just like you shouldn't give a rat's ass what I write, which is why I can write this incredibly fucked up shit. Not evil is it? Gotta love the Golden Rule.
You see, I love HER!!!! SHE LIKES CUNT AND SHE LOVES MY COCK AND SHE SUCKS BOTH. SHE'S SUCKED HER JUICES OFF MY COCK, THE COCK SHE MADE ESPECIALLY FOR HER BY TRANSFORMING MY FLESH -- FUCKING LITERALLY.
I forgot you do have a picture -- look at them and weep. The fucking space inbetween disappears when I get as deep as I can. Fucking look at those pictures and know that is the cunt that I am fucking. And it happens to be something that a snoopy eX can never be -- warm, wet, kind and loving.
I was fucking her in New York in that picture. In a skyscraper looking out over the fucking city. True fucking story.
You can write your escapades and have a plane fly them over my head and I'll never see them, why? Because I'm not fucking looking for it, unlike you.
So am I fucking evil for taunting you with the tightest cunt I've ever known? You know when she comes? I can feel her throbbing on my cock. You could buck and go blurry eyed, but I never felt your gapping maw twitch. She is so much more the woman than you could ever dream of being.
You know, you said something that really hurt my fucking feelings when you were fucking lying to me fifteen years ago. You told me that he was the best fuck you ever had. I couldn't measure up to his tiny dick. Tiny dick, fat cunt -- Jack Sprat could eat no twat, His wife was fucking mean -- glad you too can copulate in your imagination, because that is the only place it is fucking tight and fucking big.
Oh and guess fucking what? You weren't even number 2 on my best fuck list. Oh and if that other fucking eX you recruited is reading, neither were you either. Number 2 -- this isn't a Coke or Pepsi question. This is a Mercedes - GoCart comparison. Uh, no one else comes fucking close. Your cunt tight enough to bend me? I didn't fucking think so.
About this time everyone else reading this post is thinking this blogger is one fucking sick bastard. Actually if that is the case then this is one fucking sick bastard who is head over heels in love with the fuck and love of a lifetime. I can write this fucking mean shit, because anyone who reads it will realize that I'm in love with a dripping cunt that is the most wonderful fuck and the most wonderful wife a guy could have.
The eXes that I was going off of when I wrote this -- not mean at all, because they shouldn't be fucking reading this. If they are reading it -- it is their own damn fucking fault -- I even warned them. You can bet that she knows all your secrets and you don't know any of hers. Ah, she fucking wins.
She is in my house. She is in my bed. She is sucking my cock and any pussy she wants. I buy her stuff and I don't owe either of you a red fucking cent. You owe me actually -- big overpayment, couldn't even pay for your own daughter's fucking medical bills could you? Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to fucking sue you. I don't need to. I have Vice and in the most non-literal way possible -- fuck you.
Oh and if your psychotic ass is reading this, well you owe me fucking three thousand dollars. In fact a lot of you women owe me a fucking lot of money. So if you are going to fucking read me, at least pay me for the fucking privilege.
Am I pissed off? Nah, I'm happy, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't care about you. I am a man and I am going to fucking protect my wife from your fucking feminine bullshit. If you've got a fucking problem, deal with it in the open.
You know as a writer, you write stuff -- fiction mostly. All language is a fiction of a sort -- but here is the closest I can come to the Truth with words: Vice -- I love you.
Exes -- if you are reading this, I'm fucking her, not you. I have done no evil. I simply love a woman. She is my Vice. If you are hurt by this, it is your own fucking fault.
Read this -- put it on FaceBook, Twit it, spread it through any fucking viral media you can because this is the anthem against all eXes, singing "I fucking win." Go ahead comment on how you declare your independence from your eXes.
Does it hurt? Are you crying? Are you jealous? Then you are a snoopy bitch ex that stuck her nose in the wrong fucking blog.
Me, I'm rocking out, sipping champagne and smoking a tasty cigar, naked looking out over the city when I'm done -- looking down on the twinkling lights, the freedom fireworks and the hotel lights were she is licking cunt before Vice comes home and kisses me with those cunt tainted lips.
On this July day, I declare my independence of you eXes and I'm going to go fuck the pussy of my happiness, repeatedly. 
Nice to have you back, Wanker
ReplyDeleteWish my exs could read so I could write a blog like this...