The American Orgy

A Dangerous Method: Movie Review in 250 Words

2012-01-30T05:36:00.000-08:00

Talking can fuck you up. Talking can also un-fuck, your fucked up-edness. Talk some more and you get to fuck. Talk some more and people can fuck with you.

Here is the deal: If you think, thinking is sexy then Cronenberg delivers. The movie isn't titillating, it is tantalizing. I walked out of the movie theater with a familiar emotion -- the feeling of just having seen my therapist, had him ask me a bunch of questions, raise all kinds of issues in an hour and a half session and the buzzer rings and I’m out in the cold wondering what the fuck does it mean?

I resonated with Fassbender’s Jung. His intellect combined with rigid propriety created a thick shell over his seething sexuality -- repression incarnate. Vincent Cassel, as Otto Gross, stole the screen as the never repress anything devil. Gross penetrated Jung’s shell and the cracks reveal themselves in all of the other scenes, shot by Cronenburg as if his character Jung was behind the camera.

The entire movie carries the undercurrent of the upcoming World Wars and the carnage and death that are about to tear across Europe after the events in this movie. Sex, death, societal control versus freedom, mental health versus mental illness, submitting to reality or attempting to change reality are all questions asked by the movie, and like any good therapist, none of the questions are answered. That task is left up to you.

Quickalingus

2012-01-29T14:43:00.000-08:00

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect" is one of those scriptures of my youth that completely fucked me up. I still have this incredible desire to be perfect – even in my sinning. The perfect fuck, the perfect lick – perfection is the consummation, the goal of all endeavors.

The perfection virus even stems over into my writing. Every word I pour out should have significance, right down to the last "the" and "a". Unfortunately for me, my language, like my life, is messy, unpredictable, unwieldy and far from perfect. I don’t even have the time right now to pour over what I write to give it the smallest semblance of having been edited, so I suppose part of my absence has been in a quest for perfection that leads, as it usually does, into total paralytic inaction.

So what does this have to do with sex? Men certainly have the advantage in the spontaneous receiving end of oral sex. The church steeple of manhood springs out from the clothing inhibitions and is instantly accessible to the awaiting saliva and warmth. Women, on the other hand, have been short changed in the spontaneous oral sex realm. So to hell with the perfect cunnilingus. Give her quick-alingus.

First, make sure your lady friend has gotten all dolled up for the evening. The process of allowing her to get ready for the night out will insure that this remains in the realm of the imperfect. You can’t give perfect head if you are a) in a hurry and b) worried about looking like the morning after at the party you are headed to. Now, the pants and panties need to be yanked down, but only so far as necessary to allow the tongue to wrap around the fabric and hit the clit. Ignore any protestations and forge on. There will be no insertion, because there isn’t room. No fingers, just the tongue – and that faint aroma of her on your lips all evening.

The flush on her face will replace make-up blush. Imperfectly perfect.

How to Fuck Religion

2012-01-27T23:49:00.000-08:00

The object becomes aesthetically significant when it becomes metaphysically significant.

Joseph Campbell

Sex and eroticism are about union and joining, so ultimately religions with their heaven and hell/ saint and sinner separation are decidedly unerotic.

Life is a deceptive fucker, who is in league with Death. The Tree of Life has its roots all interwoven with the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil to the point of mystical union. We are in paradise, but not of it. We are outcasts, but in the bosom of God (very maternal image by the way). Enough mystical bullshit, my point is that the cure to religion (if one is needed) isn't surgical removal, but integration. Don't denigrate Religion -- fuck it.

Get naked in the bathtub with Religion and turn out the lights. Grab her by the hair and take her from behind and let the lukewarm water splash her cunt and clit, as you rock back and forth in the embryonic waters of baptism. Plow the flesh of the black hole cunt of Religion, until it defies physics and spews out against eternal gravity spiritual fire onto your cock and the hot liquid of religion baptizes you on the outside and the inside. Just make sure that you get all of the flesh under water to really wash away all those sins. By the Power of my manhood which I hold, I baptize my cock in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Hole-y Cunt of Christians. Amen.

And what Millennial Religion is complete without a Second Coming? There must not be only the baptism of water -- There must also be a baptism of blood and fire. And how do you get the Religious Cunt to bleed? You wait for her monthly savior and then baptize your cock in her blood. The fundamentalist preacher may ban the wearing of red cloth, but he cannot ban the red cock of Christ coming with the sword of his righteousness. Explore every pore of Religion as it bleeds. The blood is red. The blood is black. The moon turns red and the sun turns black. The apocalypse is sprayed across the sheets in a crucifixion of taboo, guilt and separateness. You can pound the nails into the crucified soul. You can stick the sword in and out comes water. Your prick is a thorn and you can only hope to atone, atone, atone and atone in a rythmic thumping and humping of the death grind of pelvic collision. I am In. I am Out. I Am God. I Am The Son of the Blood Red Morning of Resurrection preceding my own Second Coming.

Narcissism and the Sexual

2012-01-26T07:14:00.000-08:00

I had a run in with some younger kids last night. Youth always tends towards the narcissistic -- part of the developmental process I suppose. The self-absorbed young, mirror my Internet sexual experiences and I realized that the default sexual position is fucking yourself in the mirror.

How else do you explain the complete inability of most males of the species to realize that random cock shots are only arousing to themselves? The instinctual process goes like this --

"Oh, I'm hard and feel so horny. This looks so powerful. I feel so sexy. I want that woman. She will see me hard and horny and think I'm sexy. Hey, Look!" Ooops.

Sexual and erotic writing, unless great care is taken, can fall into the narcissism whirlpool. I find myself in a constant struggle to make my writing -- both sexual and non-sexual-- empathetic. Not an easy task.

Sexual advancement comes when you can actually look outside yourself and realize that the thing that turns you on, may in fact not be what turns on someone else. Sexual maturity comes when you can figure out what turns the other person on -- and deliver.

The False Dominance of Gingrich

2012-01-25T06:28:00.000-08:00

A mistaken assumption in the sexual realm is that you have to be a Sadist to be dominant and a Masochist to be submissive. I know it sounds like the oxymoron, "Compassionate Conservatism", but the best kind of sex can come from "Compassionate Dominance."

Gingrich is clearly in the "lick my toes, bitch" sadistic version of politics -- my way and I don't care who gets fucking hurt. Sure in the BDSM caricature world, people play out this fantasy, but the key word there is "play." Dominance in politics and in the bedroom amount to fucking with people's quality of life.

I understand the sexual charge of being dominated. In my uptight religious upbringing I wanted some women to kidnap me, chain me to the bed and fuck me silly, eliminating all the guilt and responsibility. Sex without guilt and responsibility is a powerful drug.

Next I was hampered by the feminist revolution and the need to be the "sensitive" male. I was a very good domesticated male. But biology and inclination ended up trumping religion and feminism -- I love to dominate, but it is a domination fueled by the compassion of having been forced to submit earlier.

I understand the submissive's need to have sex without guilt and the permission to feel pleasure. I understand the attachment to the dominant force that is bringing about the release. I understand why the feminist movement saw men as assholes and abusive, because the male dominant force is "dominant" and easily abused. Nature red in tooth and claw and all those evolutionary explanations. Even with all that understanding, I want to dominate, but not harm.

Yet, the harm seems inevitable. Dominance by its very nature is controlling and life and events control more dominantly than even the most powerful human. A human is fucked into existence and inevitably fucked out.

We want our leaders -- in the Oval Orifice and the Oval Office -- to be dominant. We just don't want them to be assholes.

Orgy Porgy

2012-01-23T06:17:00.000-08:00

Aldous Huxley's Brave New World excited me as a teenager -- a society kept under wraps by drugs and sex. Immorality was not fucking around. Any negative emotion was wiped away in a dose of Soma. Movies that allowed you to feel the bear skin rug on your back as you fuck. To hell with 3-D, get me that brave new world. A utopian dystopia.

I jacked off to the Orgy-porgy poem:

Orgy-porgy, Ford and fun,
Kiss the girls and make them One.
Boys at one with girls at peace;
Orgy-porgy gives release.

I came on the "release" at the thought of being one with girls.

Now we are neck deep in the orgy of the Republican primaries and the two leading candidates are all about the Orgy! Mitt Romney, descendant of polygamist orgiers and Newt Gingrich, just a plain old ogre who orgies.

Orgy-porgy, Newt and Rom,
Kiss the babies, fuck everyone
Boys at war and none at peace
Orgy-porgy, you are poor -- see.

It is pretty bad when the dystopia of Huxley seems far superior to a Republican view of a Utopia where racism can thrive, hate is strong and the Sermon on the Mount is turned on its head as the powerful inherit the earth, the mourning are hidden, the merciful are booed, and the peacemakers are called traitors.

Can a Cuckold be Dominant?

2012-01-19T05:34:00.000-08:00

Teasing out sexual motivation from the psyche is a process fraught with flaws, i.e. Sigmund Freud. Penis envy, anyone? Then there was that whole Oedipal thing.

My sexual psyche is as fractured as anyone, but I love trying to tease out the glass shards that make up my sexual mosaic. For the last ten years or so, I've listened weekly to Susie Bright on her Audible Podcast and over the last year or so, she has had an on-going discussion about cuckolding. Usually, I'm in agreement with Susie, but the primary sexual charge of the cuckold fantasy for me isn't submission, closeted homoerotic tendencies or emotional masochism.

This isn't to say that there aren't those elements. A little emotional, Reverend Dimmesdale flogging has its cathartic effects for the Puritan set. No doubt about it, fucking a cunt with another dick simultaneously is hot and homoerotic. And the topsy-turvy world of sex is a constant flux of submission and dominance.

In a recent podcast, she added voyeurism and "sperm competition" and a social Darwin-istic perspective as another possible cause. This rang more true for me, but it didn't go far enough.

The cuckold fantasy for me is not just sperm competition, but total competition and total dominance. From a male raised immersed in sport culture, competition is highly sexualized. Triumphing in the combat arena of sports from junior high on is all about being popular, ascending the male hierarchy and getting the girl. Knocking the shit out of a guy is sexual. Not because of the guy, but because in your testosterone warped brain the male thinks -- "Ahh, now she will want me." The fact that it never really works well, doesn't matter. The male emotional response says that it will.

The cuckold fantasy is moving the competition straight into the bedroom, rather than the playing field. The symbolic horns are the rams butting heads over the female. Hit the other fucking ram hard enough and he won't get up. The bigger the cuckold horns, the better.

You can both fuck her and if she still wants you -- You win. You are dominant. You are the Alpha male.

Sex is Expensive: Twinkies are Bankrupt

2012-01-11T05:44:00.000-08:00

Sex is expensive. For a guy, getting his cream in anyone else's hole will cost him. Now, the economics of sex will put some people in a dither, but all of our societal conventions and controls about sex are a reduction of sex to economics. Strippers and prostitutes are the easy mark for this discussion, but those economic exchanges are thrust into black market territory. The American Orgy wants our sex on the free market.

Newt Gingrich invokes the sanctity of the marriage "contract." Newt isn't really being hypocritical. Yes, he breached the contract, but he paid according to the terms of the contract, so all should be OK. He chose the societal approved method for buying sex. Sex is still being dealt with in terms of economics and monetary exchange and social acceptance.

Don't believe that Mitt Romney pays for sex? What happens to Mitt's money if he tries to divorce his wife? Mitt has paid and continues to pay, because we as a society have decided that he must.

Gay/Homosexual marriage in this light is about allowing gay sex to be commodified and sold on the free marriage market. Buy your gay sex here -- ding, dong the wedding bells chime.

Random Aside on How My Mind Works: I heard that Hostess filed for bankruptcy this morning. I saw a porn movie once, a Beetlejuice take-off, entitled The Ghostess with the Mostess. I can't remember anything, but it was a porn movie and it rhymed with Hostess which got me thinking about Twinkies and how those Hostess holes are cream filled, injected through two holes in the bottom of the spongy flesh of the Twinkie, filling it with creamy goodness. The manufacture of junk food's ultimate come shot. Plus, simulating oral sex on a Twinkie is always fun. How deep can your tongue go? So I went and downloaded the hottest cream pie picture I could find. And then wrote this post about sexual commodification.

Why? Twinkies are the perfect metaphor for shooting cream into spongy tissue while making you bankrupt. Sex is fucking expensive.

Your Lover Type: A Simple True False Test

2012-01-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

For purposes of this test, "you" is your lover or the person you most want to do.

Now answer the following three questions: True or False.

1. I want to fuck you.
2. I want to fuck the world.
3. I want to fuck the world with you.

Go here for your answers.

Only 1: True Only 1 and 2: True

Only 2: True Only 2 and 3: True

Only 3: True Only 1 and 3: True

1, 2 and 3: True

Why Did God Create Fucking Atheists? A Hitchens Memorial Post

2011-12-30T05:49:00.000-08:00

The late, great Christopher Hitchens has died. He would probably deconstruct that sentence and tell me I was redundant -- twice. First, "late" and "died" are the same thing and second, "great" and "Christopher Hitchens" are the same thing. Christ may not be great, but Christ-opher was.

When an atheist dies of a malignant cancer and doesn't dive for the comfort of the religious foxhole, the believing must feel a little disconcerted.

I've read Hitchens, Dawkins and Harris and the one argument they never seem quite brave enough to make is what I like to call the "The Fucking Argument Against God."

The Fucking Argument Against God is simple:

1. Fucking feels, tastes, smells, looks, sounds and tingles in a fantastic way.
2. You need a body to fuck.
3. You don't have your body when you are dead.
4. If you don't fuck now, you run the risk of never being able to fuck.

Now the religious among you will be stomping up and down and saying, "But what about the Resurrection?"

I have two arguments in response to that:

1. Are you willing to risk your one guaranteed chance of fucking on the off chance you'll get to fuck in the hereafter?
2. God wouldn't let you fuck here, what makes you think he is going to let you fuck after you are dead? Don't you believe that God doesn't change? Malachi 3:6 in case you forgot.

If you are religious and don't find this argument persuasive, please realize that the Atheist is constantly bombarded with the "Why gamble with eternity? argument, i.e., Are you willing to risk an eternity of hell-fire for not believing?

I asked my Dick, and the answer is an irrevocable, "Hell, yeah."

I was going to say RIP Hitch, but his body has been donated for medical research, so I think it is better to say enjoy a vibrant and long afterlife as your contributions and words continue to incite discussion and controversy. Rest in Contrariness Hitch.

The Trinity: God Is In The Threesome

2010-11-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit -- Amen.

Now, depending on your religious inclinations, the Holy Spirit has been considered to be female by some of the more non-patriarchal, new age types, so I guess we can view the the Trinity as a MFM threesome, albeit a little bit incestuous. And if you think of God and Christ with their cocks shoved in the Holy Spirit's ass and cunt, the whole Nicaean Creed thing about all in one and one in all starts to make a little bit more sense.

The divinity of the flesh melting into each other isn't a bad metaphor for religious ecstasy -- heightened awareness, feeling touched in ways that you've never been touched, transcendent bliss. Apparently Christ developed a proclivity for the triad in eternity, because the first thing he does after he gets resurrected and gets his body back is get it on with a couple of Marys.

Now this is a painting from the Victorian Era, but the Victorian painter William Holdman Hunt had a bit of a foot fetish, which is probably about as far as you could take it back in the day -- kissing the feet, the clothes unraveling and a golden "O" halo. Apparently it was a resurrection consummation devoutly wished for.

It is Sunday morning. Winter is coming. And I'm wondering what kind of Christ's mass I should celebrate. Religion prays upon our fears more than our desires. I want a Holy Trinity with God fucking the Holy Spirit from behind and rubbing her clit, while the Spirit moves upon the cross of Christ, the cross that symbolizes burden of all men -- the cock.

And when Christ comes, I want him to come again. This time with the mouths of the two Marys' feasting upon the words of Christ, doing his beckoning, sucking, licking and pleading with their mouths to have Christ bestow his blessings upon them, spurting out the blessings from heaven, from his cross upon their upturned, praying faces.

A Tale of Two Orgies

2010-11-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

It was the best of orgies, it was the worst of orgies. It is November and America, the land of the free and the home of the uneducated has just completed another two-year election cycle. The cry of "throw the bums out" immediately took me to where else -- the orgy -- where undulating bums are prevalent.

America has developed into two political orgies. The first is the orgy of the election. The orgy of the election is closer to a Rave or the club scene than an actual down and dirty orgy. Everyone must look pretty for the election orgy. You find who you like and grind up against them, but never completely let yourself go, because everyone is busy watching everyone else. Outfits are important in the election orgy -- short skirts, corsets, fishnets, the occasional bare breasts, but always restrained, promising the unleashing of sexual promiscuity yet never quite releasing.

This isn't to say that behind a pillar, someone isn't blowing someone. The pillar stands, the cock stands and the blow job commences as the crowd mills about unknowingly. This is how back room deals are made.

Sometimes with just a little bit of vision you can see that the skirt has been raised and the bumping and grinding of the groins is actually the copulation of in and out, give and take. Fucking in front of everyone and yet no one seems to notice, too distracted by the flash and glitz of undeliverable promises. The election orgy is all flash. The attention goes to the flashiest, the exhibitionist, the show off. The power goes to the background blow jobs, the outright fucks in front of your face that are seen but not understood or acknowledged and the election orgy leaves you with a morning after of unfulfilled desire, lust and dissatisfaction.

The real orgy is happening somewhere else, far away and isolated. A long winding approach leads up to the house. The house has creaking wood steps leading up to it, with wide gaps seeking to grab and hold the election orgy high heels immobile. The light and flash are gone and the approach is dark.

Sounds of moaning and splashing echo off the black night and the murky blue watery light of a hot tub is the only light oasis in the darkness. Approaching you find the hot tub not a rumbling mass of humanity, but a couple solitary, fucking and splashing, making waves and you aren't quite sure how they fit in the whole picture, just an overflow fuck from the orgy of political power.

The house windows are closed and you can't see the orgy until you are there. The power of a real orgy of real people, real politicians making real rules, violating real rules and doing whatever feels good to them and the people around them is the collective power of representative democracy, the power of the people concentrated into a select number of cocks and cunts. Most people never enter this orgy of American power -- a power that includes the male war machine of bombs, technological advantages, and missiles and the female corporate cunts and mouths that greedily suck in any comers, taking it all in and leaving the consumer consumed and spent.

Costumes are out at this orgy. This is an orgy of flesh, an orgy of wet, an orgy of hard, an orgy of slam and bam and sometimes after an especially hard pounding from behind, the woman will turn and say to the man, "Thank you" and shake hands. The voyeur can watch. The exhibitionist performs. Couplings become triplings, quadruplings and morphings.

Technology is on full display at this orgy. The dildo is leveraged for even more power. An average man's cock only has so much he can give the orgy before he falls flaccid, so the orgy brings in motor driven cocks. Sybians of power. I have been elected to this position. In my hands I hold the controls to the Sybian's cock. I've flipped the switch and the power light turns on red and green and the floor rumbles in the vibratory power as I crank the nob that increases the throb. I twist the wrist and the mechanical cock twists inside the cunt-try, my cunt-try, the cunt-try that elected me to fuck it hard with my power. A power amplified by electricity. I have my cunt-stituiency suck on my cunt-try's nipples and at the Mississippi Delta, my cunt-try sprays herself out into the lubricated Gulf.

Yes, the power of the elected position to hold the controls at the orgy is just one of the many positions you find in the real American Orgy.

What other positions? Use your imagination. The Executive Branch is taking the House of Representatives from behind, while the House licks the cunt-stituiency, spread legged and open before her mouth. If the cunt-stituiency gets out of hand, she is arrested, bound and held so that the lick-islator can properly coax out the throbbing response of the electorate.

Politics can make strange bedfellows. Naked bodies sliding by on the kitchen floor. Corner copulating couples. Backroom foursomes or moresomes of such a convoluted nature, you aren't sure which part came from where or belongs to who. Missionary style fucking by the Christians -- straight up, no muss, no fuss and probably not much pleasure -- except for the Christian. A cock shared by two mouths, two tounges. A cunt fingered by one and fucked by another. The whispered deals of quid probing the quo.

And what do you want from the orgy? How many mouths on your cock? How many cocks in your pussy? How many orgasms will leave you disheveled and satiated?

Those are questions for you to ask yourself. The election orgy is over and it wasn't much to begin with. Now is the time for all true Americans to get down and really fuck.

Booger Sex

2010-10-22T07:50:00.000-07:00

Inter-Social-Twit-Net Perfection

2010-10-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

Curmudgeons are given a bad name. We are curmudgeonly for a reason -- things more often than not, suck. There is a blog post that has gone viral through all the inter-social-twit-nets about "Perfection." And yes, in case you are wondering I linked to his sorry ass post, because more people read it than have ever read every single one of my rants -- combined -- because that is how the search engine beast works. Remember, Larry Page set up his search algorithm to give "Page Ranks" to web sites based on an academic model, ie citations in academic journals. And we all know how fucked up academics are.

My first beef is with his use of words. "Perfection" is not what he is talking about. Single Dad ~~Laughing~~

Being Real is actually being deceptive. I know the point of his post is supposedly clear, we all beat ourselves up over not being able to keep up with the Jones or keeping our Jones' up. "Perfection" is the perceived ideal that we impose on ourselves in SDL's world. This is bullshit. The perceived ideal should be perfection and the list of self deceptions that he lists are the most fundamental imperfections of imperfect minds. Don't believe me, I'm saying the same things he said in the post, just rephrased.

Don't let people treat you like shit and get away with it.

Don't let people say mean things about you and take it like a fat rotting pile of crap.

Don't succumb to eating disorders, get help.

Don't think masturbation is an addiction that needs to be cured.

Don't succumb to drug addiction, get help.

Don't spend more money than you make.

Don't compare yourself to other people.

Don't be mean to your kids.

Don't have kids you can't afford to provide for.

Don't try to keep up with your neighbor's boat -- Oh, gag me with a cliche spoon.

Ask your kids why they don't have any friends and don't let them get bullied.

Don't kill yourself.

Do get mental health counseling.

Admit you are a flawed and fucked up human, even if everyone thinks you are perfect.

Don't fuck around on your spouse.

Don't try and self-induce an abortion by taking poison.

Actually, I was a little deceptive myself. Nowhere in his post did he lament the man who beats himself up for not being able to get it up. The sales of Viagra and spam in my in-box suggest that this is an epidemic of perfection that "Single Dad Laughing" missed. Why? Because this is some single guy that is getting lots of attention by reciting every Oprah show he ever watched to fuel his "feminine side" and congealed it all into one soap operatic blog post. Oprah doesn't spend much time on male impotence, plus bringing that up would be a put off for the ladies.

I say the same damn thing and everyone looks at me like I'm insane -- but I am saying the same thing:

The Golden Rule is a pretty bad idea because we are all pretty fucking self-loathing.

Oh, but the Oprah TiVo at 16x is just the beginning. Now we have to listen to HIS "Perfection" issues, aka "poor puppy dog seduction technique."

1. I stole $150 from dying cancer kid box when I was 18. (He is 30 now and much wiser.)

2. I believe in God, but not religion.

3. I'm not always funny, sometimes I'm sad and lonely and have already been through two wives in three short decades.

4. I hit a wall once when I was angry at my ex-wife and dented the sheet rock. (OK, short aside here. You didn't hit your ex-wife and sheet rock dents pretty easily. I've put holes in sheet rock with my head -- for fun. Dude, you weren't that angry. Plus a little putty and paint and it is good as new, so you don't have to sit and contemplate your Perfection issues.)

5. I cry at home at night because I'm alone, fat and ugly (but don't forget to check me out on my cool website with my cool kid and send us M&Ms, because that helps me soothe my body issues.)

6. I don't like meeting people that make me feel uncomfortable. (I bet he doesn't want to bump into me any time soon..)

7. I am meanest to people just like me who suffer from my same foibles.

8. I'm sad and lonely and stay home alone on weekends.

9. I am so insightful that I see the problem of imposing unrealistic ideals upon ourselves that I've drafted this masterful piece of fluff for you to spread all over the inter-social-twit-nets. I am the insightful one, please anoint me so that more hot chicks will come to my website and see my fat ass with my cute son. Please disregard the fact that every single thing I've talked about has been chewed like a cow chewing its cud for thirty years on daytime TV, given rise to an entire psychiatry and pharmacological industry, provided work for lawyers representing domestic clients who can't get along (2 of which I've paid personally) and that some dude named Christ a couple of thousand years ago beat me to the punch by saying be compassionate, not self-promoting.

In case you were wondering, Christ never posted a blog or cut his hair.

P.S. Unlike SDL I didn't take 12 hours to write my post, I took about 20 minutes.

P.P.S. Please, please, please, spread this all over the Inter-social-twit-nets to combat self-promotion.

Cunts and Cigars

2010-08-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

Under Creative Commons License With No Endorsement

I find it intriguing that "cigar chomping" is a decidedly aggressive male attribute -- kind of like biting off the dicks of your opponent. It was no surprise that President Clinton used a cigar on Monica, because just like fucking her with a cigar was only sex by proxy (I did not have sex with that woman -- my cigar fucked her, not me), everyone also knows you don't inhale with a cigar, you puff, which in a wonderful linguistic sleight of hand means to exaggerate to the point of lying.

Cigars are tobacular cock replacements -- always hard, once lit stay hot for a long time and are best experienced by sucking on them. There is a homo-erotic element to cigar smoking. The poker table is a daisy chain of cock suckers puffing the cigar cum out until it fills the room. I was acutely aware of this a few months ago when I was smoking a cigar at a blogger party. One of my friends, an openly gay man, was standing in a circle with me and a couple of other people as we passed around a cigar. The cock totem was passed between us, each of us taking a puff or two--the glory hole cigar without the anonymity. Each mouth took its turn wrapping itself around the brown, wet shaft and sucking.

This may explain Rush Limbaugh's affection for cigars and his anti-gay rhetoric -- repressed homosexual tendencies. I'd run with that, but I start to think about the consequences of my arguments and it is bad enough for us straight guys to have to claim Limbaugh, so I'd hate to inflict him on the homosexuals too. Besides the homosexuals already have more right wing, anti-gay preachers than the straights.

Well so far I've been rambling on about cigars and not a lot of cunt. Tobacco is an interesting drug, but it pales in comparison to the heady narcotics of cunt -- combine the two and you are on to something. People say to sip brandy and smoke the cigar, mixing the flavors, but brandy has nothing on cunt. Cunt adds the aroma and texture of the fuck to the smoke. Each cigar tastes a little different after being marinated in cunt. Just so you know what a twisted fuck I am, I have yet to try (but want to try) a little menstrual cunt/cigar combo.

Now, if you do an internet search for "cunt marinated cigars", you get no results -- none, zip nada. Now that is how fucking amazing I am -- I have found a kink that is non-Google-able until today (not to mention menstrual cigars). Take it out of quotes and you get 520,000 results revolving around strip clubs serving marinated chicken breasts with cigar lounges or cunts smoking cigars.

I do understand the appeal of a cunt that can smoke a cigar - the suction action with the nether lips as they clamp down on the base of the cigar and the pelvic floor pulls in the smoke, holds and exhales. Just last night, I watched the cunt of my lover smoke a lovely cigar. We were outside and in semi-public, so she only took a puff. I brought the cunt marinated tobacco to my lips and my cock grew hard. She bent over, sprung my cock from my pants and began sucking me. I leaned back holding the cigar with her cunt juice on it between my lips and took a puff and she took a long drag on my cock. We continued to the summer cricket chorus, both inhaling and exhaling until it was time to retire to the bedroom, where I could let her cunt smoke my cock properly.

The Problem of Keeping It Up

2010-08-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

Politics wears me out.

Sex can satiate me.

Metaphorically combining the two when I'm sexually satiated is a little bit like trying to get it up for the eighth time in a day -- blogorial impotence.

eLust 18

2010-08-05T06:02:00.001-07:00

HNT Courtesy of Barefoot Dreamer - Photo by Jon H.

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Off Limits for 30 Days - "You don't listen very well," I heard her hiss. "That's off limits, damn you." And there was a crack and fiery agony clawed into my back.

The Joy of Sucking Cock - I wonder at times if that is why I am such a “good little cocksucker” as W calls me. When I am deeply into it, I almost enter this place where I am both the sucker and suckee, and it is as though it is MY cock being sucked on.

This intensity gets me riled when I am tied up (photo story) - James picked up that evil strap again. I watched helplessly as he positioned himself to use it on my pussy... Ever so lightly he started. Flick, flick, flick.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Ask Lilly: How do I know if a sex toy has phthalates in it? - The studies going around are saying that phthalate exposure can damage all sorts of organs, and can possibly cause cancer. There are a lot of harmful things in our world these days that we can't avoid - so when we CAN avoid something like toxins in our sex toys, we should.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Portal. Confession #493 - It truly is a spiritual give and take, these sexual relationships I form. I can cross the threshold and see however much of someone that I choose to see, with whomever it is that I am involved with.

See also: Pleasurists #88 and #89 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Defying Gravity with Carrie Moon

Interview with Dylan Ryan

Is "The Smoking Jacket" a Smoking Gun?

Naked and Famous

That's discrimination! -or- Two Words I'm Sick of Hearing

Very Deserved Wrath- Not So New Problems

Kink & Fetish

10 Things I Love About My Slave

A Rope Pride Flag?

At Last

Correlations

dutch part 6 - the finale!

Discovering DebPorn

Independence Day

Kinkster Me

No Mosquito Fetish Here

Our First Play Time - Part 1

Please

Post Exploratorium HNT

Sex and Kink

Subspace

Thoughts on Single Tailing

THIS is what happens to naughty little redheaded sluts…

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Declaration of Independence -- From the eXes

Ass to Mouth

Bi The Way - Male Bisexuality and Swinging

Don't Beat Yourself Up

Euphemisms

Flying The Red Flag

Natural Born Swingers

Partnerships

Transtastic: On Coming Out as a Political Act

The Ins & Outs of Anal Sex

The Cialis Effect

Unusually High Sex Drive

Where is My G Spot?

Why Won’t Anyone Respond? — Help for Your Swinger Inbox

Erotic Writing

Adventures in Fisting

A Collision of Desires

boo full

Creature of habit pt. 3

Flashback: Our First Time

Fred

Fantasy: Australia Day

Good Morning

Get Down, Dirty & Get The Hell Out

I want...

Licked to orgasm

Sweat & Summer

Sparkly Vamp Erotica

The Ordeal (part one)

Upstairs. Now.

Wrestle

Orgy Porgy

2010-07-27T06:15:00.000-07:00

Being the brilliant soul that I am, I decided to re-write a nursery rhyme:

Georgie Porgie, Puddin' and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry,
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away.

This is the American Orgy after all and a nursery rhyme with all those "orgy" sounds was almost irresistible -- and then I remembered A Brave New World and Aldous Huxley:

Orgy-porgy, Ford and fun,
Kiss the girls and make them One.
Boys at one with girls at peace;
Orgy-porgy gives release.

Ford, if you recall, was the replacement for God in Huxley's dystopia. Also, Huxley replaced the rhyme of the original with the first couplet rhyming fun/One rather than pie/cry and peace/release rather than play/away. Huxley was being a bit wimpy, a little New Agey for my taste -- let us all be at one and at peace. Anyone who has been to an orgy knows it isn't all that peaceful.

Then there was 2 Live Crew:

'I'm just like that man they call Georgie Puddin' Pie/
I fuck all the girls and I make 'em cry/
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning/
I have an appetite for sex, cause me so horny'.

Warning and horny? And I thought rappers were supposed to rhyme.

I came across this version for the dominant bi-sexuals:

Orgy-porgy, a dominant bi
Spanked the girls and made them cry,
When the boys join in the play
Orgy-porgy just spanked away.

I'd love to find all the Orgy-porgy versions I can. Any suggestions?

A Declaration of Independence -- From The Ex-es

2010-07-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

WARNING: If you are an ex, I wouldn't read this if I were you. You have been warned.

What is an American Orgy without a Declaration of Independence?

Actually, I was thinking of it as a Declaration of freedom from the old cuntry. If you've lived at all, you have ex-es, former people who have crossed paths with your cock and have been bestowed the status of eX. So this is the Orgy's Declaration of Independence from the eX. As with the original Declaration, it sets out a list of grievances against the eXes and I declare my fucking independence.

A DECLARATION OF FUCKING INDEPENDENCE

When, in the course of human events, it became necessary for one man to dissolve the fucking bands which connected him to other cunts in his past, in order to assume the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature entitles him, and with a decent respect for the opinions of Facebook, requires that he should declare his independence from his eXes.

I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women's cunts are not created equal, one cunt, in particular, is endowed with certain delectable delights, that among these are tight, slippery and the pussy of my happiness. That to secure this particular cunt, I wooed and wed, deriving my just powers from her consent. Now whenever any former cunt becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of this man to respond to it, and to lay the foundations on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to what seems most likely to effect his own safety and happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that men with long established eXes should not be bothered for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that men usually just take it and simply abolish all forms of contact with the eXes. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably some insane and unknown objective, it is a man's right, it is his duty, to throw off such eXes --

Such has been the patient sufferance of this blogger; and such was the necessity which constrained him after ten plus years to alter his status and bed down with Vice, the pussy of happiness. The history of the present eXes is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations and to prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

My submission to the candid world is this -- a candid portrait of what I wrote Vice last night as she was out ca-noodling with her girlfriend S:

Dearest Vice,

I still find it hard to believe that my eXes reads this blog, but it makes me really laugh pretty fucking hard if they are. I'm going to fuck you so hard when you get home. I love it how in the morning, I get hard, hit my hand on the lotion jar that really contains KY and pump it on my hand, lather my cock and just fuck you from behind as we fuck and roll through the early morning.

Do you hear that eXes? I fuck her -- morning, noon and night. We both smell like a fucking brothel. My cock is pushing against the laptop and mostly, I want to know if it turns you on that I think about my eXes reading how much I love fucking you, even though you fucking maimed my cock so that it hit your G-spot, a physiological google search that automatically hits the G-spot because your cunt bent me to your will.

Read it and fucking weep-- her cunt straightened this twisted soul and for that she gets my cock in her cunt for all time and all fucking eternity as she and I fuck the whole fucking world.

What are you going to do know that you've read this you peeky, sneeky, petty little dry cunts? Go show it to your friends and tell them how fucking awful I am? Is this fiction or reality? Is he just fucking with me? No, I'm fucking her, her luscious curves, her luscious ass -- I slam in and slam in and what are you going to fucking do? It isn't even my old cock that is fucking her, it is a new resurrected cock, fucking her, bent to her holy will and baptized in her bi-sexual cunt. You may pretend at being bisexual, but she is the real deal. Cunt makes her woozy and slippery. You just want to use cunt to get at my cock, because you don't understand why I wouldn't want your dry, arid, frigid cunt lips.

You know she has pictures of me fucking you -- We laugh at your dry cunts.

She is my fucking machine and I fucking love her. And what are you going to fucking do about it?

Right now she is licking cunt -- you aren't. She sucked my cock today. Wrapped her lips tight around it. Took it deep. Ah, but you don't fucking have pictures like we do.

Go show your friends this post.

Go tell them what a fucker I am.

I'm not the one that is fucking reading my ex's blog. Do you even have a blog? Pretty sad fucking ad on AFF, your ex-witchiness.

Thought that whole fucking swinging idea was mine

Or at least that is what you told the kids.

Could you take this and publish it?

Say look what a bastard he is.

But I write fiction. This couldn't be fucking real, could it?

Couldn't handle being ex by yourself so you went and recruited more. Say what you want about me, but I have my woman, my cunt, my love -- The woman I can fuck the entire fucking world with.

You show anyone this and they will know you are the snoopy, non-existent ass or flabby ass eX that just couldn't handle the fact that my discernment, discerned you as lacking.

Fuck your snoopiness.

I wondered if it was evil to be so fucking mean. Then I thought, would it be mean if she wrote this about me? No, it wouldn't. Why?? Because I wouldn't even fucking know you had done it because I don't give a rat's ass what you write, just like you shouldn't give a rat's ass what I write, which is why I can write this incredibly fucked up shit.

Not evil is it?

Gotta love the Golden Rule.

You see, I love HER!!!! SHE LIKES CUNT AND SHE LOVES MY COCK AND SHE SUCKS BOTH. SHE'S SUCKED HER JUICES OFF MY COCK, THE COCK SHE MADE ESPECIALLY FOR HER BY TRANSFORMING MY FLESH -- FUCKING LITERALLY.

I forgot you do have a picture -- look at them and weep. The fucking space inbetween disappears when I get as deep as I can. Fucking look at those pictures and know that is the cunt that I am fucking. And it happens to be something that a snoopy eX can never be -- warm, wet, kind and loving.

I was fucking her in New York in that picture. In a skyscraper looking out over the fucking city. True fucking story.

You can write your escapades and have a plane fly them over my head and I'll never see them, why? Because I'm not fucking looking for it, unlike you.

So am I fucking evil for taunting you with the tightest cunt I've ever known? You know when she comes? I can feel her throbbing on my cock. You could buck and go blurry eyed, but I never felt your gapping maw twitch. She is so much more the woman than you could ever dream of being.

You know, you said something that really hurt my fucking feelings when you were fucking lying to me fifteen years ago. You told me that he was the best fuck you ever had. I couldn't measure up to his tiny dick. Tiny dick, fat cunt -- Jack Sprat could eat no twat, His wife was fucking mean -- glad you too can copulate in your imagination, because that is the only place it is fucking tight and fucking big.

Oh and guess fucking what? You weren't even number 2 on my best fuck list. Oh and if that other fucking eX you recruited is reading, neither were you either. Number 2 -- this isn't a Coke or Pepsi question. This is a Mercedes - GoCart comparison. Uh, no one else comes fucking close. Your cunt tight enough to bend me? I didn't fucking think so.

About this time everyone else reading this post is thinking this blogger is one fucking sick bastard. Actually if that is the case then this is one fucking sick bastard who is head over heels in love with the fuck and love of a lifetime. I can write this fucking mean shit, because anyone who reads it will realize that I'm in love with a dripping cunt that is the most wonderful fuck and the most wonderful wife a guy could have.

The eXes that I was going off of when I wrote this -- not mean at all, because they shouldn't be fucking reading this. If they are reading it -- it is their own damn fucking fault -- I even warned them. You can bet that she knows all your secrets and you don't know any of hers. Ah, she fucking wins.

She is in my house. She is in my bed. She is sucking my cock and any pussy she wants. I buy her stuff and I don't owe either of you a red fucking cent. You owe me actually -- big overpayment, couldn't even pay for your own daughter's fucking medical bills could you? Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to fucking sue you. I don't need to. I have Vice and in the most non-literal way possible -- fuck you.

Oh and if your psychotic ass is reading this, well you owe me fucking three thousand dollars. In fact a lot of you women owe me a fucking lot of money. So if you are going to fucking read me, at least pay me for the fucking privilege.

Am I pissed off? Nah, I'm happy, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't care about you. I am a man and I am going to fucking protect my wife from your fucking feminine bullshit. If you've got a fucking problem, deal with it in the open.

You know as a writer, you write stuff -- fiction mostly. All language is a fiction of a sort -- but here is the closest I can come to the Truth with words: Vice -- I love you.

Exes -- if you are reading this, I'm fucking her, not you. I have done no evil. I simply love a woman. She is my Vice.

If you are hurt by this, it is your own fucking fault.

Read this -- put it on FaceBook, Twit it, spread it through any fucking viral media you can because this is the anthem against all eXes, singing "I fucking win." Go ahead comment on how you declare your independence from your eXes.

Does it hurt? Are you crying? Are you jealous? Then you are a snoopy bitch ex that stuck her nose in the wrong fucking blog.

Me, I'm rocking out, sipping champagne and smoking a tasty cigar, naked looking out over the city when I'm done -- looking down on the twinkling lights, the freedom fireworks and the hotel lights were she is licking cunt before Vice comes home and kisses me with those cunt tainted lips.

On this July day, I declare my independence of you eXes and I'm going to go fuck the pussy of my happiness, repeatedly.

Truth -- An Orgy Aphorism

2010-07-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

Truth is inclusive, if you draw lines that exclude, you don't have the Truth.
(and what is more inclusive than an orgy?)

Fucked Up Friday -- Tiger Wood's Edition

2010-05-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know it is way after the whole Tiger Wood's fiasco, that is partly why this is so fucked up, I'm five months late getting my post up -- I usually don't have any trouble getting it up, but Holidays, work, life -- it is a miracle anything can get written and even more of a miracle if anything can get read, so if you are reading, a hearty thank you.

I listen to Susie Bright's Audible show weekly and have a strong affinity for her work, although my point of divergence with her usually revolves around gender. The hetero male psyche sometimes seems a little beyond her grasp. I appreciate and enjoy feminism, but the respect for gender differences and strengths should cross gender boundaries.

Case in point is Susie's formerly recent audio show and subsequent blog post on cuckold fantasies, tangentially related to a fantasy Tiger Woods apparently sent a mistress about him finding her banging Derek Jeter, shortstop for the Yankees, and David Boreanaz, some actor I don't even know. When I first saw Tiger splayed across the tabloids, reveling in bad sexual puns like I do, I immediately started thinking of all the corny things I could say like, "Tiger isn't satisfied unless he is playing at least 18 holes," but golf/sex puns are so old as to become as stale as the beer most golfers drink.

Several different reasons have been given for why men have cuckold fantasies in the audio show and blog -- submissive fantasies, homoerotic fantasies, eroticization of the jealousy defense mechanism,
I've seen some of the "Fuck My Wife" videos and they pretty much leave me cold. I have no erotic fantasy to be humiliated -- that sucks.

A true sports fantasy is to dominate other males. Never having been on top of my game like Tiger -- Ok, sorry about that pun -- but if you are beating everyone's ass -- Ok, sorry about that pun -- but if you dominate everyone you play with -- Damn it, have you ever noticed how Sports talk is Sex talk? Women think that men's interest in sports is a distraction from them, but from the guys point of view it is his sexual obsession that drives him to sports.

The Horror of Self Awareness

2010-05-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

The problem with logical thought is that it leads to the horror of self-awareness. The more self-aware a person becomes, th

Integration versus Integrity

2010-05-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

Wanker has a different voice than my other personae. I am a multi-faceted writer that doesn't want to be confined to one voice.

Integration is overrated. Integrity is not. Now, both words have the same base -- integer -- meaning whole and complete. Integration is overrated when it leads to simplification, a mere removal of the inconsistent parts. Integrity means acting in a way that all of the parts act upon a consistent philosophical basis. Integrity is preferable because it shifts the focus away from combining towards the purpose of action. Consistent purpose with inconsistent action may be required to maintain integrity.

The prerequisite for integrity is a strong philosophical foundation. What is the hierarchy of action? You can maintain integrity only if you have a philosophy, a basis upon which to judge actions. Uniformity and conformity may be the highest good for integration, but not integrity.

Fucked Up Friday -- Mad South by Southwest

2010-05-14T06:17:00.000-07:00

Hamlet and I may be mad north by northwest, but when the wind is Southerly we know the difference between a law and racism. Arizona meanwhile is doing their best Rosencrantz and Guildenstern impression. Our only hope is a pirate ship.

Just when you thought that the melted brains from the Arizona heat couldn't get any worse, this week they bring us House Bill 2281 which the Arizona Governor (and I use that term loosely) signed into unconstitutional law. The "law" provides for in Plessy v. Ferguson logic:

A SCHOOL DISTRICT OR CHARTER SCHOOL IN THIS STATE SHALL NOT INCLUDE IN ITS PROGRAM OF INSTRUCTION ANY COURSES OR CLASSES THAT:

1. PROMOTE THE OVERTHROW OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT.

2. PROMOTE RESENTMENT TOWARD A RACE OR CLASS OF PEOPLE.

3. ARE DESIGNED PRIMARILY FOR PUPILS OF A PARTICULAR ETHNIC GROUP.

4. ADVOCATE ETHNIC SOLIDARITY INSTEAD OF THE TREATMENT OF PUPILS AS INDIVIDUALS.

The inherent idiocy of the law is a case study in racism and hypocrisy. For those who haven't taken an American history class or watched the History channel, let me help you:

Over 100 years ago we fought a war against the towel-head, Gook Nazis from the South called the Southern States. This war was fought for various economic and social reasons, most of which revolved around the subjugation of people with a different skin color. Silly I know, but a lot of people died over it. Deciding that a lot of people dying over skin color was a bad idea, the United States passed three amendments to its Constitution which guaranteed equal rights to all citizens of the country. This is the Constitution and the government that an ethnic studies class cannot promote the overthrow of in Arizona.

This law is the kind of law that would make anyone with any legal training's brain explode. The law

states that you need to uphold all of the Constitutional principals and not discriminate and then proceeds to discriminate like crazy. Kind of a divide and conquer mentality.

Arizona's law could just as easily be used to stop the teaching of the Civil War as it could the Tuscon school's ethnic studies program. Can you teach about the Holocaust because it encourages Jews to think in terms of ethnic solidarity, rather than as individuals? Aren't there Mormons in Arizona? Can the Mormon persecution and exodus West be taught in Mesa County since it encourages all those Mormons to think like a group -- which they would never do otherwise? And what about teaching about those oppressed English colonists in the early 1700s?

Since when did individualism become the gospel of "We the people"?
This shouldn't be the country of "Me, the racist."

Guess what folks? We have a piss poor track record in this country of avoiding racism. The only positive thing I can think about the law is that Arizona now gets to go down in the History books of the future as an exemplar for the tide of anti-Latino racism that flooded the American Southwest in the early 21st Century when they should have fucking known better.

Should You Read This? Should You Fuck This?

2010-05-13T05:29:00.000-07:00

The environment of the written word is a bitch goddess (or cur god -- I'm not trying to be sexist here). The problem is after something is written -- tone, inflection, context and control is completely gone. The writer cannot try and account for the readers:
a)prejudices,
b)misconceptions or misreadings,
c) sense of humor,
d) sense of propriety and the sacred (or not so sacred) -- I could go on all day.

Most writing books and teachers tell you to keep your audience in mind when you write, but this is impossible. The writer can't be empathetic to the reader without pandering to a perceived set view point. As soon as you start writing for a fictitious audience you stop writing for the only audience you really know -- yourself -- and then you lose your voice.

Disagree with me? Great. What to ignore me? Fine. Want to engage and do verbal and logical battle? Even better

I enjoy sarcasm, irony, humor, conflict (in discussions when it is directed and on point), dissent and differing view points. Forums such as this seem to be an appropriate arena for such comments, partly because the nature of the forum and partly because that is the underlying intent. If you wanted the straight and narrow, you wouldn't be here.

Language derives its meaning solely from the social, communal context. You have to understand the vocabulary, syntax, context, social norms and the shared meaning of language. This is the tenuous link which connects us.

The only human language that may be more misunderstood than the written word is the language of sex. My earliest musings on morality settled in on the idea that sex was a communication, a dialogue of two (or more I suppose, this is The American Orgy) people. The immorality came not from anything done with or to the body, but in the deception. Setting aside the biological imperative and society has given sex its own vocabulary, syntax, context, social norms and shared meanings. Fucking someone means something. What it means is based on the shared meaning of the fuckers. If the meaning isn't shared, the communication fails. The morality of the intercourse clouded.

Image from Wikimedia Commons

Is this moral? I don't know French -- that is French isn't it? What is the context? What does the social community say about cunt licking? I can tell that the woman in the blue dress has rosy cheeks. Is she enjoying the pleasuring? And just exactly what is being communicated under the dress? To bring this post full circle: The cunt licker cannot always account for the lick-ee's:

a)prejudices,

b)misconceptions or misreadings,

c) sense of humor,

d) sense of propriety and the sacred (or not so sacred) -- I could lick on all day.

The Problem of Dialogue

2010-05-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

A lot of ink has been spent on the male/female dichotomy and the inability of the sexes to communicate, but inability to connect and communicate is not limited to gender differences. For all of our empathetic abilities, humans don't understand each other.

How do the violent understand the non-violent? How do the powerful understand the weak? Power and violence particularly do not lend themselves to dialogue. The language of violence is as different than the language of non-violence as Mandarin Chinese is from French. The language of power speaks Latin to the weak Greek.

I've realized I don't know shit. Pretty humbling for someone who thinks he has things figured out. The few things I have figured out was done primarily vicariously through books and the occasional art house movie -- not much in the personal experience realm, probably because personal experience usually fucking hurts in some form or another.

We can dialogue, but we are always left at least partially removed from the other -- no matter how close our conversation becomes.

The appeal of sex, the appeal of the Orgy is that if somehow our bodies and flesh meld, then the subjective interior will follow. S&M is about creating a dialogue with power and submission, violence and non-violence. Sometimes the technique works, sometimes it doesn't.

I can word fuck you with my writing, but you still don't know a tenth of what goes on in my head and I know nothing of what happens when you read my words. The dialogue moves in and out, the whip snaps back and forth, but am I wielding the lash or are the welts being raised on my skin?

The Apocalypse is a Woman

2010-05-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Compliments of Journey Around My Skull

The Apocalypse is a Woman. This picture equated to an apocalypse -- complete with breasts, legs, fallopian tubes and cunt -- is a reminder that our beginning is also our end.

Ends and beginnings were a big thing for T.S. Eliot. "To come to the beginning and know the place for the first time." or "This is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends, Not with a bang, but a whimper." Funny how some lines of poetry just stick with you. The beginning for all humans is between the legs of a woman. Men come back to that place as adults and know it again for the first time and what a wondrous revelation the cunt is. Women come back to the beginning and discover the Russian doll make-up of the matriarchy. Together they come back to the place of beginning and dissolve in orgasmic bangs that lead to whimpers. The orgasmic whimper of life squirting out into the universe is full circle, the end that leads to the beginning, as we shrivel and wrinkle to the cunt grave of Mother Earth.

So it is no surprise that the Apocalypse is a Woman. A woman is where we begin and a woman is where we begin to end. Birth and death. Death inseminated and conceived at the moment of birth. Your mother gave you life and gave you your very own apocalypse, you will die.

There is comfort in gigantic visions of civilizations, buildings and disasters crumbling our world. Why? Because then we aren't alone. Death sucks, but it sucks more if you are alone when it happens. What better way to collectively share our feelings of death than to imagine us all going out together collectively. Disaster movies, religion, Nostradamus, the Mayans, Cormac McCarthy and all of the art and ink spent on destruction have this basic human desire to thank. Don't get so down on the fundamentalists in the Orgy that are imaging the Four Horseman and the Rapture -- they are just more scared of the end than the rest of us.

The Apocalypse's black cunt of death awaits us all.

Paying Cash for the Orgy

2010-05-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

I, Ulysses S. Wanker, being first duly sworn and under oath state as follows:

1. A good Orgy requires a lot of giving and receiving.
2. The best Orgies I've been to have been free or cheap affairs, kind of a BYOB, pot luck hedonism.
3. In the past I have paid a lot of money for sex -- strippers, hookers, porn, sex shops, workshops, condoms at a buck a fuck and not to mention the ex-wife.
4. In the past, I have paid a lot for words -- books, magazines, newspapers, subscription services and not to mention a graduate degree (although the cost benefit analysis on the degree actually made it a good investment -- see the link on ex-wife above).
5. You cannot be on the Internets and not see the plethora of get quick rich ideas and marketing plans.
6. I have aspirations to be an author.
7. Under my current circumstances I do not need cash (I have a day job).
8. I like being an Contrarian.
9. Seems to me far more important to be read than paid at this juncture in my career.
10. I registered the domain name: theamericanorgy.com.
11. I think it should be a non-commercial site.
12. I have a soft spot for the artistic and the downtrodden (often one and the same.)
13. No charge if I plug your product or your art. I link to it and plug it because I like it. And if you like it and have cash, buy it, but I have no desire to benefit.
14. I put the stupid Google Ads on my blog as an ironic commentary -- the Great Whore of Google-on -- just don't click on the fucking ads please.
15. I'm hoping that my pandering for your attention is stronger based on the fact that I don't want (or need) your money.
16. That said, if I ever get a book deal or a movie deal, the only contrarian thing to do will be to take the cash and run, right?
17. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell them that the Orgy is a fucking fun place to be.
18. Brilliance means nothing if no one reads you.
19. One thing I can promise -- the Orgy itself will always be free and accessible, hard and ready, wet and dripping or brown, warm and inviting (depending on your gender and sexual orientation).
20. The only method I have for determining truth at this point is simple -- the more inclusive, the more true.

Dated this 10th day of May, 2010.

Ulysses S. Wanker

I Am A Grand Mother Fucker

2010-05-09T01:41:00.000-07:00

By all objective standards, I'm a mother fucker, actually a grand mother fucker. Not my own mother of course, Freud and Sophocles can keep their Oedipus in his mommy's pussy, that isn't my thing. I'm talking about the distinctive and indisputable fact is that after you reach a certain age the most desirable sex partners are mothers -- and as the tail end of the baby boomers are hitting fifty -- grandmothers. I can't remember the last time -- which was over 20 years ago -- when I actually fucked a woman who wasn't a mother. For the past two months or so, I have been exclusively a grandmother fucker. I can only say that I'm probably at least 20 years away from being a great, grandmother fucker.

Now, I don't mean to be completely crass. I've just had it up to my eyeballs today in motherly sweetness and sap. If no one got a little nasty, there wouldn't be any Mother's Day to celebrate. I guess I just have to admire a holiday whose initial premise begins with people fucking, so I can begin to revel in the beauty and eroticism that is "mothers".

It is no mistake that "MILF" has worked its way from euphemistic acronym to a stand alone word for any woman over twenty that has procreated and is still hot. And for us grandmother fuckers, women over 40 who are still hot are "GILF". So tell your buddies that on this Mother's Day that you decided to go GILFing. Sex and the procreative power are etched into our little Darwinian limbic brain stems, so that the essence of motherhood is also the essence of sexy -- tits, nice ass and hips create an overall genetic attractiveness. The fuck-able quotient is a close correlation to the breed-able quotient.

Am I a raving chauvinist? Nah, not true. I'm just using a wee bit of hyperbole to make a point about mothers and that is, to become mothers, some guy, somewhere at some time, really wanted some from your Mom -- and that is how you came to be reading my blog in a physical causality sense.

Mother's Day should be renamed to "A Day Celebrating Females Who Had Unprotected Sex and Were Inseminated to Propagate the Species." Ok, that was burdensome, but we are celebrating the cunt from which humans emerged when you think about it.

So enough of the Hallmark rhymes of devotion.
Enough of the church talks on Motherly emotion.
Enough of the flowers and candy commotion.

Just thank all the women who were wet and wanting

That made sure we got here through lots of fucking.

Laissez Fair Orgies of Capitalism

2010-05-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

Used under a Creative Commons License -- Thanks photoport

The problem with most capitalists is that they do not value or understand how important rules and regulations are to the game they are playing. To explain this, let me explain to you the rules of the Orgy.

1. Don't touch unless you have permission.

This is the first rule of any successful orgy. If people start touching willy nilly or Nilly's willy or Fanny's wanny, without permission you don't have an orgy, you have a brawl. Lots of yelling, screaming and hair pulling of the un-fun variety. In an orgy, you get to own your own body. The equivalent in capitalism is the rule that you can own your own materialistic shit. Without this rule, your laissez fair market becomes something known as War.

2. Orgies have hosts who enforce the rules.

Any successful orgy has a gracious host. Think Caligula. You are an ancient, horny Roman and you want to find some Nubian princess or you are some Roman Senator's daughter that wants some august, dick-tatorial, rampaging of your ramparts then Caligula's Orgy is the place to go. Being the smart soul that you are, you know that Caligula sets the rules so that you can play in decadence. The main thing is to not piss him off at the orgy or you could be getting your head chopped off at the Coliseum. This is the downside to orgies that is often neglected by the hedonists. Lest you think I'm making up 2000 year old stuff, think about the latest club of decadent drinking and dancing you went to and think about the 6'5" 280 pound lean muscle mass that greeted you at the door. Piss off the orgy's proprietor and feel the bouncer's wrath.

Capitalists have bouncers too. They are called cops, attorneys and courts -- and they carry much more weaponry and power than even an orgy's bouncer -- and possibly even Caligula.

3. Do not believe anyone who tells you that orgies don't need rules.

Would you go to an orgy with a guy that tells you that there will be absolutely no rules? That would be like saying you can't wait to go to the Marquis De Sade's Orgy featuring no rules. Orgies without rules are called chaos and death. So what does the hedonist mean when he tells you there are no rules? Come on girls, I bet you know this one. That's right, a guy tells you there are no rules -- so he can take advantage of you. Same goes with orgies, same goes with capitalists.

I've got to hand it to the capitalists though. They take it a step further. Go back to Rule 1, the fundamental rule -- you have the right to protect your own skin. The original premise of the American Orgy was that all are created equal with certain rights, including life, liberty, pursuing pussy, I mean happiness -- OK, same thing, and property. In addition for the American Orgy, the rules of the Orgy are to be determined by the participants in the Orgy.

The capitalists tell us that rules and regulations are bad. They tell us that it is the rule makers who are the problem. They tell us this while using our own rules and our own enforcers to fuck with us. The government, we the people, is not the problem. The rules are not the problem. It is the assholes who are spoiling all the fun who need to get the bouncer to kick them out of the fucking Orgy. Where's Caligula when you need him?

Sexual Morality

2010-05-07T05:27:00.000-07:00

By Creative Commons License.

Fucking is good. Fucking is evil.

Time to move beyond fucking good and fucking evil and just settle in for some good evil fucking.
Or is it evil good fucking?
Or good fucking evil?
Or evil fucking good?

Aww, fuck it.

Dominance

2010-05-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

Published under a Creative Commons License.

Power is neither good nor evil, simply a force.

Power can cause pain or pleasure -- or both.

Power can fuck with you or fuck you.

The trick is who do you give the power to? Choose well.

Squirting

2010-05-05T05:03:00.000-07:00

Sex and wet -- Arousal explosion is manifest in an outpouring of biological spirits in both the male and the female.

Maybe sex is best when it is really about getting you outside yourself, literally. You come by dissolving into liquid and shooting out into the world. It is the antithesis of bleeding, which is an involuntary dissolution. With sex, you want to explode, want to pour out, want to baptize your partner in your come.

One of my favorite things is witnessing and experiencing female ejaculation. I love tasting it. I love drinking it. I wish I had a tub to bathe and wallow in. A shower of female cum cleanses a body in a way that mere water could never do.

The involuntary explosive nature is critical to the appeal. So squirt me.

Fucking Flowers: Ecosexuality, Gender Issues and Mother Earth

2010-05-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

I had the chance to attend Counterpulse's May Day Fundraiser this last Friday and got to see some unique theater. One thing about me is that I love alternative theater and performance art. It can be hit and miss, but it is rarely boring. The other thing is that I found out that I wasn't alone that there were other nuts like me. (Always comforting to find out you aren't alone.)

For example, the San Fran comedy troop, Killing My Lobster broadcast this video on the white industrial wall in what seemed to me to be something that could only truly belong in The American Orgy. I give you the third party of Orgy dreams -- the Vagina Party.

And now we know which cunts to vote for in November, what would an Orgy be without a porn star. Annie Sprinkle and her partner, Elizabeth Stephens, did a show on their radical Ecosexuality.

The stage looked like this:

Ok, I lied -- sort of. The stage was certainly set up to cause those tit visions to dance through my head.

The earthly mounds were topped with pink flowers which at one point during the performance, Sprinkle/Stephens buried their faces in the flowers and committed the sexual act of flora-atio on the poor unsuspecting flowers.

As you may have guessed, flora-atio is my own word to describe the act of mouth fucking a flower. I'm a little uncomfortable using the term because it is reminiscent of fellatio, the act of mouth fucking a cock, and the ecosexuality of Stephens/Sprinkle was decidedly of the lesbian/feminine variety.

I am feeling the need to defend my gender in the realm of ecosexuality. Guys like moist and earthy, too. I dare say that despite our deficiencies men have eaten more cunts than women have. We like sticking our tongues in the cunts and we can go down on the metaphoric O'Keefe flowers just like those hard licking lesbians and probably with more frequency. So, I've rethought the term for what you would call two women burying their faces in pink flowers and licking and munching on them to earthly quakes -- fauna-lingus. Now if they'd been licking the stalks or sucking on the pistils, then that would be flora-atio.

With the flora and fauna now having their oral sexual satisfaction properly classified, I do have a beef with ecosexuality being so tied to lesbian sex. Men plant seeds (and to give S/S credit, they did say we should plant our seed in Mother Earth). Men plow the earth. Men water and rain. Men can be just as good ecosexualists as the women. The show ended with pictures showing the desolation of strip mining in the Appalachians and equating it to male rape. Well, I disagree, strip mining isn't male rape, it is stripping -- keep your clothes on Mother Earth, you hussy.

See, that doesn't feel so good does it feminists? So I won't use Victorian morality about taking your clothes off, if you won't use Dworkin feminism in your ecosexuality. I'm all for protecting the Earth, but that cunt of Mother Earth gave birth to both men and women. Make ecosexuality, more equalsexuality.

ELust 12

2010-04-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of Emmy

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #13? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Flesh - Her mind awash with the thought of fucking. The smell of his scent stirring her cunt, her skin alive and encased by lust.

Putting energy in - Play is energising, at its best; so when both of you are tired, sex or spanking can be a way to get away from it all, rejuvenate your emotional connection and stimulate body and brain with a flood of hormones and endorphines.

A Rude Awakening - In the depths of the night, I half wake to the feel of her cool skin wrapping itself around my back. Soft breasts pushing against my ribs and her groin moulding itself to my buttocks.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Shouldn't - It always starts off so inconspicuously. Innocent, like the sort of teasing that might occur now and then between any other pair of friends who share a hint of attraction to each other.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Comfort - She’s so strong and yet, when we lie down together, she makes herself small and vulnerable for me. ”Hold me” she says in a tiny voice

See also: Pleasurists #73 and #74 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

Back Story
bodystocking blowjob
Bella Durmiente
Began my day
Bubbleland
Current events
Fiction: Growth
First Meetings...
Game On
"I want your cock in my mouth"
"Make Me"
Mauled at Noon
Monday Morning Flash - "Bathtime"
musing/not asking
Negotiations
Oh, What a Night
One Last Surprise
Over-Ruled?
Park 'N Ride Me
Slut with Wine Bottle
Stardust
Satin Met a Laddie
Unravelled
Wednesday meeting with V

Kink & Fetish

BDSM Advice Series: Gags
Domme for a day
FetInRealLife #12 – DIY Flogger
First Memories
Impact
Last Night
New friends and intense, sweaty, loud orgasms
Out with the Old, in with the New
Sluts, Squirts and Swing Clubs
Steel
Submissive Skills: Hunt Slut
Trust
taking her as My girl, discovering the Dom within
"Welcome to SpankingCast, our spanking podcast"

Sex News, Interviews, Politics and Humor

Building Community for Sex-Positive Sexuality Professionals
Soaking -- Marinating in the Cunt of Christ

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Gay Pride
Going Bareback
I Can't
Ladies, what do your genitals say about you?
My Identity is Erased
More Bad Advice
My Rape Story
Read and you may learn...V-massage
Psychology of Rape Fantasy- An Overview
Support Survivors
Top 10 Good Things About A LDR
You Shur Got a Pretty Mouth

Porn Stars Behaving Badly -- Blame that Fucking Golden Rule

2010-04-29T06:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the powers of prophesy and foretelling the future are overrated.

What happens when a bad boy mixed martial arts fighter hooks up with a porn star?

He does what he does. She does what she does. He calls a press conference and she tweets about it.

In case you missed it ---

Then, one of the innumerable crowd of Tiger Wood's former mistresses, a porn actress herself, tweets in on the act. In what can only be described as a 21st Century American Orgy of clusterfuck.

Why I ask myself? And then I realized that it was that Fucking Golden Rule. You know that rule that you learned in Sunday School or kindergarten -- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Hi, I am a UFC fighter. I like pain. I like to hit people and I like people to hit me. Did I say I like pain?

I've found myself in a difficult domestic situation and I'm not quite sure how to act. I know that I'm hurting emotionally and the pain feels kind of good. I need to know how to deal with my girlfriend. What was that I was taught when I was a kid? Oh yeah, treat her how I like to be treated.

Hi, I am the world's most famous porn star. I like attention. I like lots of attention -- any public attention even if it is negative is good public attention.

I've found myself in a difficult domestic situation and I'm not quite sure how to act. I know that I'm cooped up her in this house and domestic bliss is so boring. No one pays any attention to me anymore. My boyfriend is an abusive prick and he can't even win a stupid fight any more, he's washed up, a has-been. No one talks about us any more. I wonder what I could do to get us back in the limelight and get people talking about me. What was I taught when I was a kid? Oh yeah, treat him how I like to be treated. Where is my phone so I can twat, I mean tweet?

The Golden Rule: Fucking bad idea.

Don't get me wrong, the Golden Rule works in extreme situations -- it is easy to realize that the vast majority of people don't want bombs dropped on their houses and families. Except of course if you are a millennial Jesus freak and crave Armageddon and the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and have been raised on the Fucking Golden Rule, then dropping bombs might seem like a really grand idea -- especially if you think Iraq is Gog or is it Magog? If you don't understand then go read the Book of Revelations and understand why I think it is a really fucking bad idea to allow Evangelicals, porn stars and UFC fighters to follow the Golden Rule.

And not to mention an Orgy is one of the worst places for the Fucking Golden Rule, because most people have refined tastes when it comes to fucking. You may or may not like it in the ass, but I'm not sure that you want Bubba fresh out of prison coming to the Orgy and deciding that he wants to follow the Golden Rule on you.

Personalized Cell Phone Hell

2010-04-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

Why do people who have personalized cell phone music insist on subjecting me to fucking country music?

Disney at the Orgy -- Fucking Goofy Google Trends

2010-04-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

I discovered Google Trends and so I did a comparison of Google Searches for "orgy" and "politics" and got the above chart. The blue line is "orgy" and the red line is "politics". There are the expected spikes in political news in the Novembers of election years, but the "orgy" search volume remains remarkably consistent. Apparently the interest in orgies is a static number when spread out across the world computer user population -- much to the Christian Right's dismay (We just aren't progressively declining like Rome.)

But look at 2006, particularly October 14, 2006 when orgy interest spiked way above politics. Why? According to Google (censorship?) no news happened on that day to represent a spike in interest in the orgy.
So what did I do? I went to Google, typed in "Orgy October 14, 2006" and found out that this was why everyone in October 2006 wanted to know about an Orgy:

Ok, not a gartered Snow White sipping a Margarita? Should have been an Apple-tini, but I digress. No, in October, 2006 Euro Disney was rocked by a simulated orgy of Disney characters, filmed and placed on YouTube and quickly removed. Those fucking French having Goofy do it doggie style on Minnie created a massive interest in orgies. So, apparently, if I want to create interest in The American Orgy I need to add a little Disney sex, a Magical Kingdom where Alice can explore her Wonderland and the Prince fits nicely into Cinderella.

The ritual family vacation to Disneyland in a mini-van, fraught with the danger of leaving one of the eight kids at a rest stop, is the fundamentalist family's right of passage. Disney also signifies wholesome and uplifting G-rated fare for television viewing (and for those of my generation, Sunday night's The Wonderful World of Disney was one of the required church meetings). An entire generation of Christian children were raised on the mystical stories of Ariel the Mermaid, Belle the Beauty, Jasmine the Iraqi and WWJD.

Disney multiplied and replenished itself across the earth. Even the sins of the apostate Touchstone division that developed R-rated movies could not slow Disney's wholesomeness.

Soon Walt was working his magic from beyond the grave and Disney bought ABC and ESPN ravaging Monday Night Football. The Second Coming of Christ must be at hand – a DVD in every mini-van spreading the gospel of Disney.

All would have been well if it weren't for that fucking devil. No, not Obama and the Democrats, but Lucifer the Son of the Morning. In what can only be considered a coup rivaling his first victory in the Garden of Eden with his long, tempting snake, the Devil went down to Disney and has reeked havoc.

Alice may be jilling off to get to Wonderland – but she isn't the only one. The Devil inspired all kinds of Disney Porn (just turn off safe search and do an image search for Disney Porn). Hidden porn tracks are sprinkled through out the Disney Movies -- and you thought early 70 rock LPs were bad.

And I'm sure the Devil was responsible for that Disney Character Orgy in France. (Anyone able to find the video? Just asking.)

Not to be critical of His High Darkness, but Devil -- you are slacking. Where is the gay Gaston? The gay Genie jealous over Aladdin's affection for Jasmine? Why isn't Hook redrawn as Peter Pan's jilted lover and cranky about having to settle for the bearish, yet effeminate Smee? Maybe they are all hiding out with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger -- that tail in his ass, what is up with that? Maybe Ursla the Sea Witch is really a drag queen. Hopefully, the perverse readers of this blog can enlighten us on which Disney character gets them the hottest and we can give Beelzebub a hand, where a hand is due (or needed).

Why An Orgy? A Note to My Readers

2010-04-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader:

I've talked about it before, but a little refresher course for new readers may be important. The Orgy is my metaphor of choice for current American culture, politics, religion, environmentalism and yes, sexuality.

Why use Orgy as the metaphor? The glib answer -- Everything is a cluster-fuck and what better way to describe a cluster-fuck than a cluster of people fucking.

The more nuanced answer is that sex is multi-faceted, layered, complex, while being routinely over-simplified and so is society. I want my writing to add to the complexity, add to the layers and show that sex and societal problems aren't given to sound bites or money shots.

This is about irony, sarcasm, the post-modern digital wink, while at the same time trying to fuck with people.

Idiocy abounds and I intend to fuck with it.

Yours Truly,

U.S. Wanker

Image Compliment of This Web Site where you can buy the T-Shirt.
No proceeds of shirt sales will go to me.

I just liked the picture-didn't want to steal it.

No Copyright Laws were violated in the pilfering of this picture.

Puffing Away at the Orgy

2010-04-24T07:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing like a little consciousness altering to really fuck with sex. You think shoving your cock in a cunt is mystical, pot will weld your flesh together, but I'm afraid my dear friends in California have gone a little two long with their liberal, pot allowing culture and it has affected their thinking.

Now, I'm as much in favor of drug legalization as the next Rastafarian or Conservative, but sweet Mary Jane is what the Feds call a Schedule 1 drug (that is like Number 1 of nastiness, apparently Mary Jane isn't so sweet.) I'm not going to bore you with the legalities, but take your lovely voter's initiative and read it next to the DEA's own designated web page for California Medical Marijuana. You think those guys and gals with the bullet proof vests with big initials are going to let a bunch of gay loving, pot smoking liberals take their power away? Remember these guys have guns and most of the idiots in Orange County (Proposition 8 anyone?).

I'm probably suffering from a history hangover. I got through reading two books this last month on the history of the Supreme Court. The current make-up of the Supreme Court does not encourage me on drug laws -- or much of anything else for that matter. The Court's 2005 opinion in Gonzales v. Raich shows that this is an issue of federal power over state power, not drug legalization. The change in the drug laws is going to have to take place on a federal level.

If I was into conspiracy theories, I'd say that the Tea Party crowd and Sean Hannity will take up the banner for marijuana legalization in California. All of the pot heads will say "Huh? Cool man, we are going to win." and then after the state's rights victory, they will have the right wing justices of the Bush Administration uphold the California law against the evil federal intrusion against the states. After all that good precedent the Right can then go after such meddlesome concepts as the Right of Privacy, health care reform, financial reform and civil liberties (such as they are).

Don't worry, won't happen because most people at the Orgy don't think, they just fuck with you.

More Fucking Thoughts

2010-04-23T07:10:00.000-07:00

How many cunts is enough?

How many cocks are enough?

How much fucking before you are sated?

The American Orgy seems to be about non-stop fucking, non-stop consumerism, non-stop blind propulsion until death -- the last great "you're finally fucked."

And that is why I write. It isn't the sex. It isn't the orgy. It is the connection, the desire for a brief moment that someone else understand what is going on in my skull before it is a hollow bongo drum of bone.

I know because I spend a lot of time rattling around inside the skulls of dead people -- they are called authors. Some are still alive, but for all real purposes, almost all are dead to me. I don't interact with them other than to read their words on a page or a screen. Some have died recently, David Foster Wallace and Howard Zinn spring to mind. Some died during my life -- Henry Miller, Anais Nin and most of the dead Beats. Many, many died before I was born.

Yet, the Orgy has changed. The voices clamoring for immortality have multiplied and expanded and now anyone can sit on a Friday Morning and type shit into the computer for people to read and no one will listen. There is a suspension of disbelief that has to take place to continue spewing out words, to continue to establish that elusive audience for the voice from the dead.

I don't know how many cocks, cunts, fucking and words it will take before I'm sated, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying the Orgy -- self-deluding soul that I am.

Fucking Thoughts on a Monday Morning

2010-04-19T06:49:00.001-07:00

I like Alter-Net. I like it because it gives me -- as advertised -- an alternate view on the news.

But it suffers from the same myopia as regular news. It has the progressive party line and that is what it publishes. Nuanced thinking seems to be completely lost.

Great thinking should be like great fucking. Sensitive to conflict and contradiction and responsive in appeasement of that conflict. Sometimes it should be fucking rough, when something needs to be pounded on particularly hard. Sometimes it should be delicate butterfly licks on sensitive parts. Just try and know your partner and fuck them silly.

Great thought is as rare as great fuck -- and equally desired.

Ranting About Porn

2010-04-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

I had to listen to a bunch of people dissing porn, so I had to respond --

I think you've all missed the most pressing problem with porn -- the biggest problem with porn is the attitude towards porn and in a close second, there isn't enough quality porn.

For the Porn is bad and "you'd be better off spending your time doing anything else" camp -- you negate the individual's subjective arousal to the pictures or images, imbue them with shame and guilt and there is a cognitive disconnect in the porn user's mind -- this feels awfully wonderful and it is awfully bad. The brain short circuits and one of two things happens -- the porn user completely rebels or becomes a Puritan and both versions possess a messed up sexuality. Prove contraries of a paradox and the truth is made manifest. In this case, the extreme legs of profligacy and celibacy are both bad choices and the truth is in between in the cunt.

From the Porn is bad because it subjugates women/women in third world countries camp -- how do you explain gay male porn? Whoops. Exploitation does not have to equate to porn, it is a common logical fallacy. If this is your only beef with porn (assuming that by beef, I mean complaint rather than the colloquial reference to the cock and gay porn), then full on consensual porn would be A-OK. Maybe porn needs a little trailer at the beginning saying, no performer was traffic-ed in the making of this movie and all performers were well paid and compensated and derived the maximum amount of physical pleasure from the performance. Then you can watch the fucking with a sated conscience.

From the porn is great as a sexual appetizer camp, at least you recognize that porn can arouse and by definition fondle your prurient interests, but then what do you do with the relationship damage that it causes? Some people get really fucked up by their partner's use of porn. While I don't perceive it as something that should be defined as addiction (or a-dick-shun in the female vernacular), feeling like you are unwanted over digital images pixelating and fellating on the screen hurts like a thousand little digital ones and zeros pricking the skin. I know this may come as a shock to those that think sex is primarily tied up in the reptilian portion of the brain, but a little evolution-evolved conversation could go a fucking long ways towards long fucking.

The most painful thing about porn is that it seems to cast a bright light on an inadequate sex life for both men and women -- Does anyone think that the wives described by the husbands as sexless so they turn to porn are happy campers? Does anyone think that the husbands devouring hours of porn in secret and shame want that kind of sex life? Most alleged discussions of porn (which isn't really much of a discussion, but a regurgitation of calcified ideas about porn -- as boring as porn itself can be at times) is a symptom of that pain, where because of cultural morays and constraints, most people can barely talk about sex, let alone with any clarity or rationality.

The number one reason to vote yes for Porn is to create an environment where sex can be discussed without guilt and shame, the exquisite physical pleasure can be acknowledged and the pain and despair that accompanies the poor sex lives of so many can be acknowledged as a hard task that needs to be sympathetically stroked and sucked towards bliss.

What Orgy Do You Go To?

2010-04-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

The human capacity to segregate itself into groups is, well, human. We can't seem to function if we aren't squirreled away in some social category. This proclivity oozes out into everything -- politics, religion, schools and even orgies.

My partner and I went to a "bi-bash" orgy a little while back and it seemed like the same old crowd, just more filtered. By sticking the "bisexual" label on the orgy, the homophobic men didn't show and the straight women didn't show, so a small orgy by comparison.

I've had the privilege of working as a beta tester for the new Sex Wise social network site for Nina Hartley and I must say that there appears to be an immediate stratification and group-ification on the site, even amongst the beta testers. The polyamorous, the bisexual, the male homosexual, the lesbian or the swingers all huddle together in their little cliques.

My particular kink (male heterosexuality with a brain) feels like a solitary one. I've always been baffled by the obviously heterosexual males who think that showing their cock shots or saying in a deep baritone, "I wanna fuck you" is somehow going to win them the affections of a female. I suppose it is an old theme -- the Golden Rule is a dumb ass idea -- these guys are treating women the way they want to be treated, i.e. show me your pussy and tell me you wanna fuck me. They haven't graduated to any level of sexual empathy. The problem is that the Neanderthal version of male hetero-ness gets way too much air time because of the inherent stupidity and willingness to display said stupidity.

Have you noticed that sex advice columnists are either female or male homosexuals?

I've gotten off track. What prompted today's post was an article I was reading in Alter-Net about Judith Butler on non-violence theory. Ms. Butler stated, "Along with many other people, I am trying to contest the notion that we can only value, shelter, and grieve those lives that share a common language or cultural sameness with ourselves." I began thinking that not only violence, but political and sexual misunderstandings arise from our inability to share a common language or cultural sameness with the "other."

I know in the history of patriarchal oppression of women and the white oppression of other races, a white male heterosexual may seem castrated in his ability to hold any semblance of a moral high ground. This is complicated by how fucking noisy some men can be -- in the sexual realm, men who somehow think a picture of their erection on Chatroullette will get them laid or in the political realm by the Sean Hannity's and Bill O'Reily's. Yet, the legitimate male vantage point has equal validity with other social groups and should be included in the dialogue and not completely discounted for past transgressions.

Besides, what good is an orgy if it is vanilla and cock-less?

Soaking -- Marinating in the Cunt of Christ

2010-04-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

Caveat: I know, I know -- Christ doesn't have a cunt.

One of my all time favorite dying quote is Oscar Wilde’s, "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do." The hideous wallpaper stuck around for a few years longer than Oscar, although both are now long gone. If your passion for dying quotes gets the better of you, here are a couple of website links with last word compilations.

I’ve always been pretty certain what my last words were going to be, whether it be illness, age or accident, I shall go out on the excremental expletive – "Oh Shit!" I haven’t really considered the metaphoric implications of a scatological departure from life, although the thought of my soul being crapped into eternity amuses me. No, my last words are not based on any metaphoric artistic overreaching, "Oh Shit!" is just pretty much what pops out of my mouth when things don’t go my way. Craving immortality, death is right up there on the top of my list of things I don’t want to have happen to me.

The fucking French refer to the orgasm as la petite mort, the little death, which got me thinking about my favorite last words, those spontaneous utterances emerging from the mouths of the recently orgasmed.

No coincidence, however, that "Jesus Christ" and "God" are on the lips of both the dying and the orgasmic.

On a more temporal, but dangerous note, last words are often proper names. The danger of course is that the name you scream won’t be the real life person giving it to you. Understanding and pride that comes from being called God disappears with the utterance of "Oh Harold" and your name is "Wanker."

If I were a non-monogamous Social Darwinist, the exquisite danger of uttering the wrong name explains several things: 1) the high reproductive capacity of the religious who mask their infidelities in prayers to God; 2) the reproductive capacity of the profane (those who simply yell "Fuck" a lot while they are coming; 3) the prevalence of both children and men named "Jesus" in Latin culture; and 4) the otherwise inexplicable reproductive capabilities of stupid people, who survive due to the non-evolution past the brain stem, leaving only the sex drive and the non-verbal death rattle of orgasmic gurglings of pleasure, not the names of others.

To prove my Social Darwinist theory, I give you a news flash from Utah's Child Support Services: A rash of male members of the Mormon species, situated primarily in Utah County , are claiming they could not be the sires of screaming little newborns, because they were virgins. They’ve never had intercourse. The most they’ve ever done sexually is soaking.

"Soaking" is apparently a Brigham Young University phenomenon of Clinton-ian line drawing on the definition of sex and chastity. My hunch is that soaking is a direct result of Bush era abstinence education. Case in point, Mormons alone do not seem to be afflicted by this phenomenon -- Evangelicals, too are into soaking. I quote: "Soaking is simply spending time in God’s Presence, rather than striving in prayer. It’s about resting in His Presence, experiencing Him and choosing to be intimate with Him." Ok, I know they are supposedly talking about some type of religious experience, but "rather than striving", "time in God's presence" and "intimate", tell me that this is about something else.

About Soaking from Catch The Fire on Vimeo.

In further coded Evangelical hilarity, The Secret Place (I'm not making this shit up.) offers Soaking Worship Music. Or John Belt (yes, the name is real) defines soaking for us:
What is soaking? Soaking is an expressive term used to describe a spiritual, emotional and physical position that we place ourselves in to receive from the Lord by spending time in His Presence. It is a way that we can calm our souls from the business of life and allow the Lord to soften our hearts with His Love.

Too obtuse? Then I head to the always reliable Urban dictionary for defining all colloquial sexual terms:

The event of marinating your penis in a vagina or The art of sex without thrusting (striving?)
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Soaking

For those unaware of the religious ability to justify sinful action, the legal/theological argument is as follows:

Given: You must commit fornication or adultery to lose your virginity and sin.
Given: A fundamental aspect of fornication and adultery is sex, defined specifically and narrowly as the "old in-and-out".
Given: Blow jobs, anal sex, gay sex, frottage, and mutual masturbation do not involve the old penis-vagina, in-and-out, these activities are therfore not defined as "sex" for purposes of determining whether virginity is lost.
Given: Orgasm is irrelevant to a determination of whether or not sex has occurred. (Wet dreams aren’t sex are they?)
Therefore, although it requires going in once and coming out once, if you just go in, soak for awhile before you come out, that isn’t sex as long as you don’t move while you are in the tub.

Of course these definitions allow for a fairly active sex life, while maintaining virginal and religious purity, so the logical and philosophical weakness isn’t really all that important. What is important is that you can soak.

Now, while I appreciate a good rationalization like any other sinner, there are a couple of practical concerns that arise out of the "soaking" phenomenon.

First, obviously, given the natural inclination, it appears that there is more jetted tub action going on, as opposed to simple soaking.

Second, what about the girls in all this? Can you massage the clit while you are soaking? Is birth control forbidden in soaking to avoid the appearance of evil? Isn’t the term "soaking" a patriarchal term, concerned only about what is happening to the male? Our feminist sisters would probably demand calling it, "drawing a bath to allow some soaking" or some other politically correct phrase. Being a neanderthal male, I’ll defer to you to give me the proper, non-sexist phrase for soaking.

Third, from a practical standpoint, soaking appears to be a compliment to the young fertile co-eds ability to conjure up a warm bath for the religion's male members.

Fourth, are the restrictions for male homosexuals more rigid than than their hetro counterparts? Does soaking apply to gay blow jobs and anal sex, but not hetro-butt fucking and cock sucking? These are questions that keep me up at night.

Fifth, and what about the poor lesbians? Can they only soak in their dildos, while their hetro-sisters can rubber fuck themselves silly?

Sixth, I couldn't be a proper degenerate without a nod to the bestial. I think the picture speaks for itself, but will an elephant agree to just soak?

With all these questions, I’d ask for some guidance from the religious, but rigid (wrong word) pronouncements aren’t conducive to allowing wiggle (yet another wrong word) room. So as a nod to the Fundie Christian Soakers, I thought I’d give you some ideas for naming your new offspring:

Tubby or Tubs (self explanatory)
Jack (Short for Jacuzzi)
Pruney (A girls name, indicative of what happens if you spend too much time soaking.)
Bathsheba (Biblical, ironic and a bath reference, too)
John (Short for John the Baptist, another guy who soaked people, including Jesus no less.)

Now, I love soaking. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a great concept. We’ld all be happier if we spent more time drawing baths and soaking. I’m not even opposed to KY or AstroGlide soaking. Soaking is prolonging. Soaking is luxuriating in the experience. Soaking is best without a wet suit, but not as safe. Soak me silly, but when the water starts splashing around and my balls are taking a shower and I’m about to shoot my own contribution to the watery grave of orgasm, I say what I’m sure I’ll always say when I die, when great things are about to come to the end — "Oh Shit!"

And in the immortal last words of Hamlet: "The rest is silence."

Blogging and Masturbation

2010-04-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning and I've decided the following:

Blogging is like masturbation -- gratifying for the person doing it, but no pleasure for anyone else.

ELust 11

2010-04-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

HNT courtesy of Neptune Blue

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #12? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Sometimes poly IS hard - The difficulties one faces in managing healthy interpersonal relationships, and the skills one employs in overcoming those difficulties, are the same whether you are monogamous or poly or something in between.

Artist and Model - I’m drawing her furiously along with everyone else in the class. I know her name is Janice because a long time ago we’d been acquaintances, then lovers for a night, and then I didn’t see or hear from her again.

His Boots - He’s my fix. I’m his addiction. Maybe we’re just each other’s junkies? I can never tell when i’m close enough to breathe him in I cease to care about anything else.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

I need a new highway....

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Nerds are NOT this season's must-have accessory - Being a nerd doesn’t mean you grew up unpopular and tormented, that you have a high-paying job, that you like Star Trek, that you’re socially awkward, that you never exercise, that you run Linux on your computer, that you’re highly educated, that you have low self esteem, or that you have trouble getting dates.

See also: Pleasurists #71 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

31 orgasms, and that is just the foreplay
BDSM -- Am I Abused?
Being Watched
Being a disappointment makes me feel like shit
Games I play with girls
"I want to be your whore"
Money in M/s
Scrabble the Jade Way
Sexualising 'Sir'
Somehow

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Another Menage a Trois of Power
Confronting the bigots
porn, like sex work, defies easy generalisations
Thoughts on Owning my Butch Cock (Part 1)

Erotic Writing

A Dirty Girl with Needs
Blood Tint ~ Part 7
Dream on Part 2
His Birthday ~ Her Surprise!!
His Need part two
Hot and Wet
I Kissed a Girl...Deuxième Partie
It's the simple things
It has been awhile...
Microfantasy Monday, week 72: the edge
Office Politics
Over the Weekend
sssgirls rock
Something Sexy. Confession #354
The Second Date
This photo...
The Haircut
Under 500: The Hungarian
Winner Takes All?
Wicked Wednesday: High Art

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Femme Crip Rant
Controlling Emotions
Consequences
Come on
Do You Suffer from Opportunistic Boyfriend Syndrome?
Eating Her Out
Essure to take off the Pressure
Hair
Letting Go
Life of a Sex Toy Addict
Naming the boy, Blue Balls
Transtastic: On Being Into Queer Women

Morning News Roundup At the Orgy

2010-03-30T06:49:00.000-07:00

Republican National Committee Spends $2000 at Bondage Themed Strip Club.

Unless it was just one guy -- cheapskates. Fiscal conservatism at its worst. These are hard working women. Reserve your table today and tip better than those Republican cheapskates. Tell 'em Wanker sent you.

We Have Met the Terrorists -- And They is Us.

Mike Vanderboegh -- Throw bricks and break windows, because that's what Nazi's do.

All Terrorists Look Alike -- White and Christian

Or is it Arab and Muslim?

Maybe, just maybe the problem is tribalism, racism, fundamentalism and violence. Until you can train people to think outside their tribe, it will be OK to attack those of another tribe. Tribalism is arrested development and the breeding ground for terrorism regardless of the terrorist's religion or color.

Another Ménage à Trois of Power

2010-03-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

In politics -- in the American Orgy of Politics -- domination and submission seem to be key elements, or should I say the unwillingness to be dominated.

I got on Yahoo! this morning, remnants of my pre-Google, pre-Kindle New York Times past and saw this cool headline: Obama Scolds GOP . Essentially, President Obama waited until the Senate recessed and then shoved fifteen presidential appointments up their ass that they can't do anything about until 2011 -- that is one long butt fuck. Not that President Obama is doing anything previous Chief Executives haven't done, but the President trying to dominate Congress isn't anything new. Even I've written on the Ménage à Trois of the three branches of government, but that was a FMF threesome.

Today I wanted to talk about a different threesome, this one of the MFM variety. In this case, the female is the American public and the two males are the Republican and Democratic party. Like most men, you can't really tell a Republican from a Democrat when they are naked. They both dangle. They both have a pair of balls. They worry most about money. They both like fucking and playing with women (the public). They both spew their million of sperm (legislation) to little or no effect. Unfortunately, like most men, they don't really know how to satisfy their women, so what follows is an Orgy fantasy -- a fantasy of a MFM threesome that actually works.

Ms America is a delectable woman, a woman with curves, a woman with maturity and a warm, dripping cunt. In the past, the men have taken turns kissing her. Early in the evening at the Orgy, the Republican went down on America's cunt. He loved the taste of her juice dripping of his beard and tongue. She returned the favor, sucking on his slightly bent, but conservative cock, before riding him for all the world to see. Mr. Canada stood close by watching the cock go in and out of the pussy and to the South, free trade ran free as cocks and pussy's walked pass watching America and the Republican fuck.

Later, Lady Liberty hung out over the window and let the Democrat fuck her from behind, sucking in the fresh Atlantic air, letting the young New York Bohemians watch as his left leaning cock slides in and he shoots his cum in her quim and the towers fall.

This is a precursor, a warm up for the events to come. Leaving the New Yorkers behind, America began kissing on the Democrat ("D"), while the Republican ("R") fondles her ass. Out in the Orgy play room, America is sandwiched between R and D, her ass grinding into D's cock and R pressing his legislative package against her cunt.

It is time in the fantasy for the threesome to get productive and give America what it needs. A private room, an isolationist fantasy, where the outside world of the Orgy can't interfere, as candlelight flickers and America slides down D's pants and slides his cock into her mouth. R is prostrate, on the floor and he slides his head up underneath America's skirt and sucks on her cunt, knowing full well that she has D's cock in her mouth.

The cooperation of R and D cause her juices to flow and for a long time they all enjoy the sucking. For R's comfort, America lowers herself so R can lie flat on the floor sucking her cunt, while she sucks D's shaft. There is no hurry, no time frame, just making sure everyone is happy and fulfilled. Elections come and go and all that shifts is the position, D lies back and continues to be blown, while R slides his cock in and takes America from behind. Again, time slows and America provides pleasure to both R and D.

Now the current state of the Orgy is much like the Ménage à Trois so far -- the woman putting out and the men getting pleasure. Sure it was fun for her, but it was still really still all about the guys at this point -- time for some bipartisan legislation to get America going.

America spreads out across the toweled table of the globe -- her beautiful Californian head, her Rocky Mountain Breasts, her wild New Orlean's Missississippian Delta and her Floridian and Bostonian feet. America is face down, her Alabaman ass rising in the air and R is massaging America's clit and his fingers are thrust into the Georgia spot, while D plays around on her borders.

R and D agree that it is America's turn for some pleasure, for some satisfaction, for some some taxing of the corporate and giving to the poor, for some peace, for some regulation of Wall Street and some consumer protection, for some tender loving health care, for some tea, some coffee and some scones and nothing thrown into the Boston Harbor, but conciliation and pleasure abound and the only War is the one singing, Why Can't We Be Friends.

In a dramatic show of bipartisan cooperation, America is turned over so she is lying face up on the table/globe, R takes D's hand and places it on the American clit, the heartland of pleasure. R moves to the suck on the Grand Tetons and America writhes in pleasure. Soon, R's fingers are joining with D's on America's Kuntuckey and D has wet his fingers and is playing with the tips of the Sierra Nevadas. America has never felt anything like this. She'd had a little fine wine to relax and now the whole country is quivering in hope and anticipation.

Yes, America, you can come -- and America does -- flooding goodwill as if all the levies of hatred had broken and orgasmic pleasure fills the land. America shudders and experiences la petit morte, but not just once, not just a half-assed health care reform orgasm, but a full-on single payor, Medicare for everyone death shudder, followed by a nuclear explosion of arms reduction and peace efforts, followed by an orgasm of education, jobs, low prices, regulated free market bliss for Republicans and social welfare for Democrats that causes America's eyes to roll back in her head and fucking pass out in the largest explosure of pleasure because not just one, but both political parties decided to stop trying to fuck her and do something for her benefit -- and through understanding and cooperation, they succeeded.

America sleeps peacefully tonight, sleeps the sleep of the sated, curled up in the blackness of the Universe, having experienced a threesome of amazing power as three humans learned to cooperate in that most difficult of arenas -- politics and sex.

Thus ends my political fantasy.

With a special thanks to those of the Orgy who try (and succeed) in making such dreams possible.

Evolutionary Psycho Sexuality

2010-03-27T05:46:00.000-07:00

Caveat: Now, I'm not an evolution naysayer. You aren't going to get any long discussions about how the world was created in 168 hours. I can't even get all of my daily work tasks done in 168 hours, let alone create a planet with fossils and all kinds of evolutionary evidence. That said . . .

The study of sexuality seems to be focusing on WWCD (What Would Caveman/woman Do?). Some of the arguments are interesting, but they have the same "pure speculation" feel I get from well meaning religious folk, albeit with a hornier twist.

Example: Promiscuous men spread more genes and therefore won out in the evolutionary battlefield, spawning more horndogs, than non-horndogs. (Thus, most evolutionary psychologists are horny men.)

Example: Jealousy is a highly adapted method to encourage reproductive success. (Tell that to Desdemona -- Shakespeare reference for you Cavemen).

Example: Women have developed an uptight attitude about sex because of the high cost of reproduction. (Evolutionary psychologist's wife is pregnant at the time of this hypothesis.)

Or one of my favorites: Women's eggs are bigger than men's sperm. There are billions of sperm and only a limited number of eggs. (And here the evolutionary psychologists veer off into, uhh, evolutionary economics) Given the lack of the resource (eggs), women's sexual favors are more highly valued than men's copious swimmers and therefore command the marketplace in controlling sexual favors. Sounds to me like some evolutionary psychologist's wife wasn't putting out.

I might note that almost all of these theories dissolve into silliness when you consider them in the light of homosexuality. (Men's assholes are a rarer commodity than men's sperm for non-reproductive success?)

The humanist in me wants to scream. The challenges the American Orgy faces far exceed the cliched Saber Tooth Tiger of the Caveman. We all come into this world, not completely as blank slates, but pretty damn close. Culture, society, parents, teachers and friends fill our minds with crap and beauty. Our job is to filter out the crap and keep the beauty. The real evolutionary psychology question is how well do you use that greatest of evolutionary gifts -- an adaptable thinking machine?

YOU are Responsible for YOUR Own Orgasm at the Orgy

2010-01-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

"If there is going to be change, real change, it will have to work its way from the bottom up, from the people themselves. That's how change happens."

Howard Zinn

If Zinn were Wanker, he'd say the only way for change to take place is to stop playing the submissive and top from below, but the message is the same.

Stop looking for Obama to save you.
Stop looking for Health Care Reform to save you.
Stop looking to Fox News and Sarah Palin to save you --(Ok, that is easy).

Start figuring out how to re-enfranchise yourself in the Orgy of American Capitalism.

Christmas -- Bah Humbug

2009-12-19T05:45:00.000-08:00

The only orgy I've been participating in is the orgy of consumeristic materialism that is the American Christmas. Actually that is a little harsh -- it is an orgy of commitments, parties, work, shopping, family, friends and a whole host of socially imposed behaviors that you comply with or face the wrath of your neighbors and families.

E[lust]3

2009-12-19T05:35:00.000-08:00

HNT Courtesy of 13Messages

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you're looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you're going to find it here. Want to be included in the next edition? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site's sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

♦ This Week's Top Three Posts ♦

Presence - I wish that you would look at me now. I am willing you to look at me now, over her body, rocking with the motion of her mouth. But you do not.

Restraint - “Do you like what you see?” the blonde asks. “Are you excited by what’s before you?” the redhead enquires. He nods.

What Not to Fetishwear - DON'T wear a PVC sleeveless vest if you fall into the rotund category. You will look like a bowling ball. With chubby arms.

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊

Fucking for Art - The proximity of their nakedness and my scrutiny resulted in this beautiful agony of arousal for them both. I asked if they would feel comfortable doing some poses of vaginal penetration for me, and they readily agreed.

♦ Featured Post ♦

The Naked Truth - He didn’t just write a pretty story we could act out, he worked hard to delicately lay us out on the page together, as we are.

See also: Pleasurists #56 and #57 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Tricky Balls

Propaganda Sucks in All Directions

What Not to Fetishwear

Wicked Grounds

Which Reindeer Sex Style Are You? Five Tuesday: 2010 AVN Award Nominees

Kink & Fetish

Presence

Come what may..

While I waited

Caning Before the Movies

Say...

Savoring Submission

The Ruler

Give In

Flagging brown

The Mummy Returns

Finding Power Through Play

Marked

Microfantasy Monday 24

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Spanksgiving

Wife Unsure About Sex With Others

Morning

Thought Provoked

The Naked Truth

December: Month of the Rant

Less is More

That's My Cervix!

Femme Invisibility

Are You Just Kinky or Is It a Lifestyle Baby Steps and Giant Leaps

Cyber Sex

Erotic Writing

Friends with Benefits

Restraint

Prolific

The Tease

Cock. Confession #386

Shower

Cal's wisdom

Blinded and Bound

The Little Things...

lust

The Witness

Quiet and Still

Giving and Receiving

Beasts in the Bathroom

Fixation: Touch

The Pussy Eating Challenge

An Oceans Release part 1

MFM: Etiquette

Office Party

Daydreams & Distractions Droit de Cuissage

Tant pis

Toys, toys, toys

Revenge (Pt. 1)

Gush

Claiming: Assume the Position

Painting

e[lust]2 and House

2009-12-02T04:23:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed participating in elust and plan on doing it more, but I have one question -- Why is the guy from House dressed up as a cop?

And why is that remotely sexy?

Cops and gloves make me nervous.

e[lust]2

2009-12-02T02:26:00.000-08:00

Photo courtesy of Twisted Monk

♦ This Week's Top Three Posts ♦

The Heart of Darkness - "I swear that man can sense my fear like a hound scenting a rabbit, and just like the hound, his blood rises to it."
Forever... - "Forever is a beautiful idea, a wonderful goal, but it’s not a magic spell."

His First Fuck - "He stood there, obviously nervous, obviously aroused by what he had been witness to seconds earlier."

◊ e[lust] Editress ◊
I Dare You - "Aided by our clutches of printed papers, me hiding my nipples that could cut glass and him hiding the hard bulge in his dress pants, we scurried back to our cubes where the messages flew back and forth."
♦ Featured Post ♦

Who am I? - "I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life and couldn’t fit it all on one piece of poster board."

See also: Pleasurists #55 for all your sex toy review needs

♦ Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships ♦

First. Confession #380
In Defense of Squirting
Forever...
Gender, Buck Angel, and Me
G Spot Orgasms: It's all about the clitoris
Spitroast
They May be Bi, But They're Still Boys
Why I Sometimes Fake Orgasms
Wonderland: The British in Bed

♦ Kink & Fetish ♦

The Workout (fiction)
I Am Not Clark Kent
Caning
Lips Parted
Curve
She brought her own toys
Rope Bondage: Hemp vs. Mfp
Phew! Another Hole
Hearts
My virginity and how I lost it..
Gift
Spicing it up: Bondage Materials

♦ Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor ♦

20 Questions with Cyd
This Ain't No Disney
A Thank You Note
Vegas Virgins
Sex and Happiness

♦ Erotic Writing ♦

1 Full Body Massage / 1 Happy Ending
The Slut Chronicles #7 ~ I Said No
To Do List
the date
And Your Hands and Your Lips and Your Tongue Tricks
Oh Fuuuck
I Get Around
Sometimes, Love Hurts
In The Dark
Making Up
Quickie - A Good Girl
What I Want You To Do To Me
Hitachi Fun
Her Curves
Carnal
marks she left
Wicked Wednesday: I Love Watching You Watching Me
Birthday Boy
Fucking & Making Love
Thy Mother and Thy Father: A Vodoun Love Spell
What Just Happened?
Happy Birthday Me
What Cums Around

Fucked Up (Black Humor) Friday -- Health Care Edition

2009-11-27T06:36:00.000-08:00

A round up of this weeks top fuck ups in the Orgy:

3. David Brooks -- New York Times Columnist on Health Care.

Brooks starts out his column stating that everywhere health care reform has been tried, it has become politically untouchable and a boon to the people who have it. (Can you say Medicare anyone?) He also talks about how a country as it grows wealthy improves the care of its citizenry and then he pulls off this fuck up: "Instead of reducing costs, the bills in Congress would probably raise them. They would mean that more of the nation's wealth would be siphoned off from productive uses and shifted into a still wasteful health care system."

Mr. Brooks -- keeping the citizens healthy isn't productive and is wasteful? And money in the economy isn't like poring it down the drain. It doesn't disappear if you spend it on keeping people healthy. It goes to Doctors and nurses and pharmacys and hospitals and medical machinery manufacturers. Who then spend it in real live American communities. And what benefit do we get from the huge profits of medical insurance companies? Profiting off of insuring health care seems like the biggest of wastes.

He says that health care is a moral choice, but then goes on about how it is a financial one. His morals are in his money -- and that is fucked up.

2. Republicans Killing Trees To Make A Point About Killing People.

This week, Republicans pulled out a trick used by every high school student who ever had to turn in a five page paper and had only written a page and a half-- change the margins, increase the font size, change the spacing and magically a 209 page Senate Health Care Bill becomes bigger than War and Peace, the Bible and the Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

Oh, and make sure you refer to the Bill as bigger than War and Peace because then everyone will know that no one has really read it. Oh, and one more thing -- don't tell anyone it is smaller than the Bush Era "No Child Left Behind" Act.

Oh, and Mr. Hannity, while you are trashing the frauduletnly typed out health care bill -- don't forget to apologize to the families and friends of the 44,000 people who die each year from lack of health insurance -- you can tell them that the bill has a page for each dead person -- oh, wait, sorry the bill isn't long enough for that.

1. The New Peruvian Diet Plan aka Get Slim or Die

In the spirit of Mr. Brooks and the Republicans attempting to thwart any meaningful health care reform and Jonathan Swift's Modest Proposal, our Southern neighbors down in Peru have come up with their own solution to the health care crisis, including a cosmetic surgery option.

Hire the criminal gangs to go around killing the fat people and drain their fat for use by the really rich people to keep their lips plump. Legalizing the killing of fat people will cut down on crime. Rappers will get skinnier, Snoop Dog will be In, 50Cent will have to watch his weight and Run DMZ is in serious trouble.

Cosmetic surgeons will get rich using the fat where it is more aesthetically appealing. Think of the possibilities of breast implants with real live human fat -- it feels so real, because it is. We can also tax the plastic surgeons extra and use that money for further health care reform.

It is a known fact that fat people account for the largest expenditures in our health care system. We can even give the gangs special incentive bonsues for bumping off diabetics, immune deficiency carriers and cancer sufferers which will help keep health care costs down.

Hospitals can be given a dispensation to unplug machines before the fat shrinks on an IV diet. The fat can then be immediately harvested and the profits reinvested in health care infrastructure.

Finally, everyone talks about the need for preventive health care, but what better incentive is there to get the lard ass off the couch than a gang who will harvest you if you are too fat? Let's take a lesson from our Peruvian friends and solve our health care crisis.

Health Care Crisis Solved.

HNT -- Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T06:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Nasty Turkey Day! That is what HNT stands for right?

Oh, Happy Nasty Thanksgiving. Yes, I am thankful for all that you can see -- and all that you can't.

The Humbling of Philip Roth

2009-11-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

Kathryn Harrison reviewed Philip Roth’s The Humbling in the New York Times. I’m a big fan of Philip Roth. Roth entitled the book The Humbling. I’ve been experiencing a humbling of sorts on the Internet of late. I’ve posted comments and attempted to carry on commentary with other people and they don’t engage. Like Roth’s Simon Axler, the actor who has lost the ability to perform, I have lost the ability to connect. The inability to connect with my words has indeed been humbling. I’m amazed that Roth has managed 30 novels, a spectacular achievement in its own right, but more importantly I’ve always connected to his work. I get what he is writing.

Kathryn Harrison does not get Mr. Roth. Like the minions who don’t seem to have a clue about what I’m trying to say in my writing, Ms. Harrison missed the boat in her review of The Humbling. She found Roth to be offensive in his depiction of the lesbian Pegeen and Simon and Pegeen’s sexual exploits. She wrote:

And, like all gay women, she has a “small plastic bag of sex toys,” among them a “strap-on leather harness” into which she inserts a “green rubber dildo.” When Pegeen cheats on Axler, twice, it’s with one and then another blonde ponytailed pitcher she seduces from the sidelines of a local softball game — because where else would an experienced, predatory lesbian go for eager, young tomboys to corrupt? You don’t have to be gay to find such stereotyping offensive. The bedroom frolics inspired by something as lurid and ludicrous as a green dildo make for embarrassing reading not because of the caliber of their sexiness, but because they demean everyone involved. Including the reader, who is forced into the position of voyeur and thereby made complicit in a vision that doesn’t allow a lesbian to be anything more than a collection of clichés. Representing her sexual orientation — as well as her gender, duplicitous daughter of Eve! — Pegeen is amoral, capricious and cruel.

Pegeen isn’t amoral, capricious or cruel in the story. She is just a lesbian, who in part due to cultural and family pressures decides to try and act straight. It doesn’t work. I find Harrison’s projection interesting on the softball players. I read the book and it sounded like she was hooking up with women who were also lesbians, not a predatory lesbian on the prowl for unsuspecting tomboys. Where did that come from?

This is a troubling aspect of the review – the book is written in the first person narrator format. Simon Axler is the narrator and he is a mess. If you are an author and creating a character in the first person, the words and commentary must fully reflect the character. If the character is wont to stereotype lesbians, his narration will stereotype lesbians. If he didn’t, the illusion of the art would be lost.

This isn’t a story about lesbians or even sex. This is a story about performance and acting. Axler moves from acting on the stage to acting a new role with Pegeen. He will even lapse into an Irish brogue when talking to her, reliving an earlier role on the stage. Pegeen doesn’t replace his acting, but rather becomes his next performance. His final performance, as outlined in the aptly named section, The Last Act, is his suicide.

I found The Humbling to be just that, a humbling meditation on the human condition, our struggle to find meaning, the difficulty to act and ultimately the humbling decision to try and control your own destiny.

Harrison wrote, ““The Humbling” lacks its author’s genius — all that would help us, as it has so many times before, to forgive him his prejudices and blind spots. “ Her prejudices and blind spot caused her to miss the meditation and reflection throughout the entire book on what it means to act or write and not connect with your audience. This is the humbling and daunting task of any artist and when you don’t connect, you really are in your last act.

Spanksgiving

2009-11-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

I spent a mindless evening last week at a fetish fest. Lots of skin, spanking and groping and not an ounce of erotic juice was flowing. My brain and my cock were completely limp. Nothing tantalized or intriguing -- not the dripping wax on the naked woman, not the tied and fettered minions, not the bumping and grinding, not the big screen porn pulsating on the screen.

The Sybian back lit behind a sheet strung up on the stage was intriguing, but only because I've seen Vice ride one and shadows on a sheet brought back pleasant memories of having that controller in my hands, but I digress. I just don't think domination makes a very good spectator sport -- whether it is Bush Doctrine American foreign policy and embedded journalists or bare ass paddling.

A large portion of the American Orgy Seems to be all about domination, as if America has to dominate the planet for every citizen to be blissfully orgasmic. The unfortunate side of this urge to globally dominate is that rather than orgasmic, the citizens are just paddled and fucked with.

So as you sit around your Thanksgiving Day table today with your family and eat your dead turkey with blood red cranberry sauce and happily help your grade schooler gloss over the American genocide of the native population with tales of how the Indians saved the Pilgrims with corn and watch twenty two grown men run around on a field trying to physically dominate each other, recall Arthur Dimmesdale, one of the first to wield the cat-o'-nine tails in the Orgy.

Our American Orgy is in need of some serious whipping to atone for our ongoing lust for violence.

Erudite Erotica

2009-11-24T01:10:00.000-08:00

If you don't like erudition, then your eroticism is shallow.

I think, therefore I come.

Big Sex Organs

2009-11-23T01:00:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about conventional wisdom and conflicting cliches and I came up with these two:

The brain is the largest sex organ.

The skin is the body's largest organ.

I ask the readers of the Orgy -- what is really the most important sex organ?

What is really the largest sex organ in your experience?

Fucked Up Friday: Fox, Palin, Demi Moore and the Orgy

2009-11-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

Things can get fucked up at the American Orgy. The Decline and Fall of the American Empire appears not to be coming from decadence but the Church people and conservatives, lying sacks of shit that they are.

Photoshop and media manipulation are dominating the Orgy. This weeks top four fuck-ups:

Number 4: Demi Moore Has a Hip Operation Compliments of Adobe

Do they really think using the liquiefy tool is all that tough? The real crime here is that it looks a lot worse than the original would have.

Plus, anyone my age shouldn't be subjected to photoshop.

Sigh, I like curves and hips.

However, in all reality, air brushing isn't exactly new in the fashion industry -- or Playboy.

3. Fox News Admits Incompetence

Ok, that was a bit of an exaggeration -- see, I can do it too. What they said was someone changed the copy for the anchor and didn't tell the film footage guy that he needed to change the cheering throngs of a McCain/Palin rally to the footage of people standing in line for a book signing. See for yourself.

2. Fox News Admits Incompetence and Apologizes to Jon Stewart
It is pretty pathetic that the Orgy's biggest news media watchdog is a comedy show. So here is Stewart's original capture and then some commentary on Hannity's "apology."

1. Sarah Palin Claims Sexism Because She Isn't Really Running

Newsweek gets top honors for the week for this Cover. Remember when the Palin crowd was bent because Newsweek ran a close up of her face and it showed wrinkles and black head pores? It was deemed demeaning.

The problem with Palin is that she has her own press release service, which is Facebook, where according to news reports (you think I'd go on fucking Facebook and add her as a friend?) she wrote:
The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now. If anyone can learn anything from it: it shows why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, gender, or color of skin.
Who writes this stuff for her? I want to know who she hires to put up her status reports on Facebook.

But why is she offended? Before it was beacuse she was ugly. This time because she was ostensibly hot. I think she is offended because she doesn't get the joke -- Sarah Palin: "I'm not running for anything, except possibly Queen of Facebook." Newsweek: "The Republicans think she is running -- See the picture?" Irony, ha, ha, ha. Irony is lost on Palin, but not on the Orgy.

The Tribe of HNT: From Burka to Artichoke

2009-11-19T04:45:00.000-08:00

I'm consistently amazed at the human spectacle in the American Orgy. Just yesterday walking down the street I came across a woman about as far from half-nekkid as you can get. She was adorned in old dirty Converse, jeans (as far as I could tell) and a burka-like outfit. The one thing that struck me was the writing on the head scarf -- ROID. Did she have something for or against Hulk Hoggan? Major League Baseball? What could it all mean? I couldn't figure it out until I realized that it was actually DIOR, as in Christian Dior. Apparently dirty converse and Christian Dior head scarves, a sexy woman make. Even the head to toe clothed want to be noticed in the American Orgy.

Since last week when I discovered HNT with Sexy Sadie's cunt picture, I've spent a little time exploring HNT. It seems an entire religion of HNT has grown out of people's desire to be noticed -- and to be really seen and really praised.

The HNT phenomenon is about bringing voyeurs and exhibitionists together in a weekly love fest.

Tapping into that social network brought immediate acceptance and acknowledgement far beyond the power of the Great Whore of Google-on. Just as tapping into a political social network or a religious affiliated network can bring real people, it can bring a community. The HNT crowd just happens to be a community that likes half-nekkid pictures. My first contribution to the Tribe is of my Dior clad burka lady and a lady that is near and dear to my heart with all my heart's spiney covering -- and you can see why, almost.

Sex and Happiness

2009-11-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

I was listening to Susie Bright’s audio show from Audible.com and she raised the question of how sex relates to happiness. This seemed like a particularly apropos topic for the Orgy – how do sex and happiness relate in the American Orgy.

A recent study showed that Utah is possibly the happiest state in the Union. (Insert polygamy joke here.) Big Love aside, the definition of happiness seems to be a critical element in determining how sex and happiness interact. "Happiness is a Warm Puppy" takes on a very warped meaning if you equate sex and happiness too closely.

Lack of sex is easier to equate with unhappiness than it is to equate sex with happiness. No causal link exists between sex and happiness.

The problem is with the term, happiness. A lot of lip service is given to its pursuit, but do we really want it? We actually want conflict, tension, excitement and after that we want rest, safety and contentment. A sense of general contentment is what we desire, not the painted smile of happy, happy, joy, joy. Sex is a mode of communication that contains the entire gambit of emotions from conflict to contentment, so it has the ability to fulfill a wide variety of desires, not just happiness.

Sex is also sublime for connecting to the moment. In the podcast, Susie quoted Henry Miller that "The greatest cure is to give up, to relinquish, to surrender, so that our little hearts may beat in unison with the great heart of the world." I was a little surprised that she did not tie the quote back into sex. I've always read Miller's sexuality as a mystical effort. Give up in your love making. Relinquish and surrender so boundaries disolve and all the hearts beat in unison -- mystic sexuality.

Attentive, focused love making takes the moment and prolongs it. Most happiness research commentaries ends up talking about Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s research on flow. Humans are apparently more content when we can lose ourselves, not just in the moment, but in a long drawn out series of moments. Existential angst disappears when you are in flow and when you are in the middle of a long session of glorious fucking. This is what I crave fucking flow or flow fucking – either one.

Mostly, life can be a pretty dark fucking place and sex gives me a respite and at least a metaphoric nod to the continuation of the species and the whole fucking mess that is the world and at the point of thrusting into my lover’s moist cunt, continuing this experiment in existence sounds like a pretty good fucking idea.

What Makes You Limp? Spam and Link Love

2009-11-16T06:34:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that the male enhancement spam seems to have gone limp?

Could it be that Pfizer (Viagra) and Lilly (Cialis) have taken the steam out of the small dicked spammers by taking the mighty erection battle to prime time? Hard to get your spam up when the competition is acting like John Holmes.

Porn spammers seem to have it rough too. I got this gem this morning with the subject heading: Charming Older Moms. The body of the email was this: Ugly Old Mothers. Link. New database.

So are they charming or old? Have porn spammers been reduced to making us question whether they are sending us sexy mature pics or hideous mature pics? Tell me the truth, did you click on the Link? You wanted sexy? Hideous? Human nature caught in the existential mouse click dilemma -- To Click or Not To Click. Here is the Link again in case you didn't click it the first time. I mean I bet by the time you finish this you will have clicked on the Link. Why? Because I'm not a big pharmacuetical. Link. I'm not a spammer. You are dying of curiousity. Link.

And you trust me. Uncle Wanker wouldn't give me a virus. Hell, he's using Blogger, he can't be that tech savy. Link. Is the older mature woman Charming or Ugly? Both? Wouldn't it be nice to have rubbers for our links? So you could click on them and not suffer any of the consequences. If you put a link to my site on your blog, I'm not promising anything other than fucking with you and your link ups.

Actually there is one thing I know if you succumbed to clicking on any of my links -- you like older women and that would make you a literal mother fucker.

The Rules that Bind Us

2009-11-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 License.

Orgies require rules -- lots of them.

I know this seems counter intuitive, but free for all fuck fests are not proper orgies, they are anarchaic, chaotic disasters.

The God of this Blog, if there is a God, is Bacchus, a Greek version of the Nietzschean Dionysus. At least in Ancient Greece bacchanals were structured events.

Which brings me back to rules and the will to power. From all I can tell both the Law (society's codification of the rules) and Sex are about power and who controls it.

The power of the Law is backed up by violence and kidnapping (cops and jails). The power of Sex is backed up by dominance and submission.

The trick is maintaining a balance. Too much becomes a totalitarian dominatrix attempting to spank the masses into submission. Too little is limp ineffectuality that evaporates all power.

The most power and the most freedom come from balancing the rules at the Orgy. Remember this when you call your legislator to tell them how the fuck they should vote. With the right rules, freedom expands. The rules aren't constricting or limiting. When carefully applied the rules become an entry into previously inaccessible beauty and previously inconceivable freedom. It is not a question of more or less government, but a question of formulating the right kind of government -- whether in the bedroom or Congress.

Freedom legislated creates more freedom. This is the lesson of the Constitution of the American Orgy.

Creative Commons Cunt

2009-11-13T06:43:00.000-08:00

I happened on to a phenomenon due to my prediliction for Creative Commons licensing and how that interplays in intellectual property considerations in digital media.

I did a Google image search for "Creative Commons Cunt." Nothing of interest appeared until the second page when I found Sexy Sadie's pantied cunt. It was exactly the image I was looking for, so I referenced it and stuck it in my post.

There were other pictures though:

J. Cardinal's Picture on Flicker -- a nice place for Creative Commons licensed material

There was Caroline H's hoody in the sunshine on Wikimedia, another good source for CC licensed material. There is a whole section on both male and female genitalia.

And here is Lawrence Lessig, the law professor behind the whole Creative Commons licensing movement, lecturing with a Creative Commons logo that looks a little bit like a hairy cunt.

But the original Sexie Sadie Cunt was the one that caused me the most consternation because it was Thursday. An entire world exists of people who post half naked pictures of themselves on the Internet every Thursday.

I told another blogger about it and she promptly posted a picture of herself and had more hits in one day than I've had in the lifetime of my blog. I would be tempted to say that was fucked up, but she is extremely sexy and I looked a half dozen times myself and this is The American Orgy after all and what's a little half-nudity at an orgy? Apparently very appealing.

My lesson? Shameless self promotion using pictures of naked women. Maybe a few people looking will actually be wanting to read.

Epistemology Or How Do We Know What We Know In An Orgy?

2009-11-12T04:26:00.000-08:00

How do you know what a cunt tastes like?

Compliments of Sexie Sadie

(I know you said you'd sue me Sexie, but you know what you have Creative Commons Licensing and I'm non-commercial, so sue me if you want -- it might be fun)

How do you know how a cock feels when it is hard?

How do you know if it is pleasure or pain?

How do you know when it is time to spank or time to cuddle?

How can you know any fucking thing other than through experience?

This is one thing about an Orgy. It is difficult to know what is going on around you when there are mounds of humping flesh and it is one giant orgiastic body.

This is one of Life's Most Altering Truths: Most people don't know shit. They can't tell an elbow from an asshole in the orgy, which can be particularly frightening if someone tries to fuck your elbow.

I know so very little it is fucking scary, because I know way more than most people. I can write about Pfizer paying lots of money in a criminal fine, but I wasn't in the court room when the ruling was passed down and I haven't gone to even a primary source, rather settling for an Internet news article, which isn't exactly the height of reliability. As much respect as I have for the Journalistic breed that is currently humping out its last orgasms in the death throes by copulating with digital media, journalists aren't always the most reliable. I know because they've written and said things about me before that were very, very wrong.

Question everything I say. Question everything you read, especially on the Internets, because most people never even bother to think about how they know what they know, which is the first step in determining whether you might be full of shit.

If you really want to know how a cunt tastes, I suggest you stick out your tongue. This is the American Orgy after all.

America's Most Wanted -- Corporate Criminal Watch

2009-11-11T05:00:00.000-08:00

There are different ways to determine the horror of criminality, but here at the American Orgy I remain on the lookout for the biggest and worse criminals. When something that is near and dear to my heart -- the male member, the erectile drill bit, the cock for the cunt -- when that something is being artificially drugged into complacency by the biggest criminal (if you are to judge by the size of the fine, and in matters like this, size does matter) then to keep the Orgy going on a more natural and wholistic basis, I must point out Public Enemy Number 1 within the Orgy:

The biggest criminal in the American Orgy is a drug dealer. Not the juveniles that Florida locks up for life, but the very companies that whose Conjunction Fucked-tion lobbyists are fighting tooth and nail to thwart health care reform.

Like all good drug dealers they used massage, golf and payoffs to get their dealers, the doctors, to dole out their particular brand of medicine. Business is so good that a $2.3 billion dollar fine means nothing to the bottom line, since disclosing the fine the stock price has risen. Illegal dealings apparently are to stock prices what a certain trademarked (by Pfizer) little blue pill is to limp dicks.

Ass Kissing

2009-11-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

Ass kissing is an important aspect of the Orgy. You can't expect to get ahead if you can't lick a little behind.
So if you find yourself not being able to get head or ahead, lower your sites.
Ass kiss and ye shall receive.

Time for the tongue to tickle the bung.

Emotional Coverup

2009-11-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

Number 2 - Hands, originally uploaded by Tin Green.

The world of blogs is still evolving. Blogs are a conglomeration of so much that attempting to utilize the entire canvas of the blog can be overwhelming at times. At this point, I've observed or seen that blogs contain a mix of social interaction, journalism , Internet bravado, Internet Arcania, self-disclosure, self-obscurement, scholarly discourse, visual elements (of which I'm particularly fond), audio, video, prose forms, poetic forms, serialized fiction, non-fiction, diary/journal entries, humor, hate, compassion and on ad infinitum.

Each blog has its own personality and style that reflects its creator(s) creative vision. I definitely have a vision for where I want to go with my blog. Ten years ago, I would have seen the potential to create this type of art as a complete pipe dream. I am constantly concerned about the quality of my blog and have continued to add to posts, plan posts ahead and modify and adapt over time.

An important aspect of blogs is the opportunity for feedback. I have yet to develop the readership for the full and immediate feedback I crave, but it will come. I will also listen. I need to understand reading habits, interests and compassion for the audience. Fuck with the audience -- yes, but I need to make sure that it is a pleasurable and mutually consented to fuck.

Today's post was done almost two years ago in a stream of consciousness burst, after a long silence. I resurrected the post for the present. I felt a little like exposing my old self. The photo is obviously female and on the verge of exposure and you can feel the urgency in undoing the cover up. The thing I wish to expose is the glorious cunt of my creative expression, like this line I wrote and love:

Blogs are our digital shadows cast on the concrete of the Internet.

What does your shadow say about you?

Censorship and the Orgy

2009-11-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

I posted a comment on a conservative blog with what I thought was a respectful critique of the nonsense I was witnessing. I didn't even call it "fucking nonsense." The blog was on a noted right wing crack pot, Cleon Skousen, that in many regards is the inspiration for the current Glen Beck nonsense. I found the blog as I was searching out Beck's progenitors. The person posting the blog advertised it as an open letter to detractors, but apparently this is a one way letter -- a lot like a straight guy's asshole, the shit can go out, but don't try and put anything up in there.

My comment was simple: The main defense of Mr. Skousen wasn't his ideas, because that would lead to abundant ridicule, but that he was a really great guy. I think this is pretty close to what I wrote before the comment was thrust into cyber-oblivion:

There is a logical inconsistency of relying on a person's goodness to prove his ideas right. A lot of real decent people have had some really stupid ideas.

I'm sure a lot of people feel that way about me, but apparently it was too critical for the moderator. Fortunately, the Internet provides me with a forum to circumvent the censorship. The problem is that none of the people that need to see what I was saying will see it. I'm sure that of the 23 comments at least one might of stopped and paused for a moment and that would have been a victory of communication.

I don't moderate my comments on The American Orgy. I'll delete comments if they are spam, but I won't censor. Stupid or vile commentary simply illustrates the stupidity and vileness of the commentor. If you can attack me logically, have at it.

School House Fuck -- Interjections (H1N1 Mix)

2009-11-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

When the USA faced the swine flu, H1N1, (hoo-oon, nnn-oon)
The CDC knew just what to do-hoo.
They'd cure the infections
With lots of injections
While people uttered some interjections..

Shit! That smarts!
Oink! That hurts!
Holy Shit! That's not fair givin' a guy a shot down there!

Interjections (Shit!) show excrement (Oink!) or emotion (Holy Shit!).
They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,
Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.

Though Geraldine played hard to get, uh-huh-huh
Ferraro knew he'd bang her ye-het
He showed his erection
Despite her objections
And Geraldine hollered some interjections...

Fuck! You've got some sausage!
Oh, Oh Baby! I've never been so porked in all my life!
Ahhhhhh! I'm gonna cum!

Interjections (Fuck!) show excitement (Oh, Oh Baby!) or emotion (Ahhhhhhhh!).
They're generally set apart from a copulation by an exclamation point,
Or by a comma when the coming's not as strong.

So when you're happy (Hot Damn!) or sad (Aw Hell!)
Or frightened (Fucking Hell!) or mad (God Damn Son of a Bitch Mother Fucker!)
Or excited (Yowza!) or glad (Yippie Kayee Mother Fucker!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.

The health care reform hardly moved at all, uh-huh-huh,
And the Republicans began to stall.
They made a connection
In Fox's direction,
And Glen Beck started shouting out interjections...

Commie! Your socialist, progressive and gay!
Facist! I call you all those names even though they aren't the same!
Let's Pray! I don't even know what I mean!

Interjections (Commie!) show delusionment (Facist!) or idiocy (Let's Pray!).
They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point,
Or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong.

So when you're happy (Hot Damn!) or sad (Aw Hell!)
Or frightened (Fucking Hell!) or mad (God Damn Son of a Bitch Mother Fucker!)
Or excited (Yowza!) or glad (Yippie Kayee Mother Fucker!)
An interjection starts a sentence right.

The Virus (H1!) shows infection (N1!) or contagion (Swine Flu!).
They're generally felt by the humans in our aching joints,
Or by a coma when the virus is way too strong.

Interjections show excitement or emotion,

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Glory, Glory, Glory Fucking Hallelujah for the CDC... YEA!
We Are All Going to Fucking Hell!

Famous Last Words

2009-11-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

If you’ve got this far, you may be asking, "What the fuck does this have to do with the American Orgy?" Well, don’t be so fucking impatient – here it is. The fucking French refer to the orgasm as la petite mort, the little death, which got me thinking about my favorite last words, those spontaneous utterances emerging from the mouths of the recently orgasmed.

I’ve always loved women who deified me, scream praying to "Jesus Christ," "Christ," "God," "Oh God," "Oh My God," even the occasional "My Lord." (I assume I have avoided the utterances of Electra complex suffering women, since no one has ever blurted out "Oh God My Eternal Father," but there is still time. Also, I must need to screw more Asian chicks, because I’ve yet to be called Buddha – either that or I have to stop working out and get more of a belly. ) Yet, it is no coincidence that "Jesus Christ" and "God" are on the lips of both the dying and the orgasmic.

To prove my Social Darwinist theory, I give you a news flash from a child support service located in the same county as some abstinence crazed fundamentalists: A rash of male members of the this fundamentalist abstinence species are claiming they could not be the sires of screaming little newborns, because they were virgins. They’ve never had intercourse. The most they’ve ever done sexually is soaking.

"Soaking" is apparently a phenomenon of Clinton-ian line drawing on the definition of sex and chastity for the abstinence challenged. For those unaware of the religious ability to justify sinful action, the legal/theological argument is as follows:

Given: You must commit fornication or adultery to lose your virginity and sin.
Given: A fundamental aspect of fornication and adultery is sex, defined specifically and very narrowly as the "old in-and-out".
Given: Blow jobs, anal sex, gay sex, frottage, and mutual masturbation do not involve the old penis-vagina, in-and-out, these activities are therfore not defined as "sex" for purposes of determining whether virginity is lost.
Given: Orgasm is irrelevant to a determination of whether or not sex has occurred. (Wet dreams aren’t sex are they?)
Therefore, although it requires going in once and coming out once, if you just go in, soak for awhile before you come out, that isn’t sex as long as you don’t move while you are in the tub.

Now, while I appreciate a good rationalization like any other sinner, there are a couple of practical concerns that arise out of the "soaking" phenomenon.

First, obviously, given the natural inclination, it appears that there is more jetted tub action going on, as opposed to simple soaking.

Second, what about the girls in all this? Can you massage the clit while you are soaking? Is birth control forbidden in soaking to avoid the appearance of evil? Isn’t the term "soaking" a patriarchal term, concerned only about what is happening to the male? Our feminist sisters would probably demand calling it, "drawing a bath to allow some soaking" or some other politically correct phrase. Being a neanderthal male, I’ll defer to you to give me the proper, non-sexist phrase for soaking.

Third, from a practical standpoint, soaking appears to be a compliment to the young fertile co-eds ability to conjure up a warm bath for the male.

Fourth, are the restrictions for male homosexuals more rigid than than their hetro counterparts? Does soaking apply to gay blow jobs and anal sex, but not hetro-butt fucking and cock sucking? These are questions that keep me up at night.

Fifth, and what about the poor lesbians? Can they only soak in their dildos, while their hetro-believers can rubber fuck themselves silly?

Sixth, I couldn't be a proper degenerate without a nod to the bestial. I think the picture speaks for itself, but will an elephant agree to just soak?

With all these questions, I’d ask for some guidance from the more religiously astute, but rigid (wrong word) pronouncements aren’t conducive to allowing wiggle (yet another wrong word) room. So as a nod to the Soakers, I thought I’d give you some ideas for naming your new offspring:

And in the immortal last words of Hamlet: "The rest is silence."

Mea Culpa

2009-11-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

Fuck you.

I have nothing to apologize for.

Not even for ending my sentence in a preposition.

Fuck you and your apologies.

And if you don't like that, well then, Fuck you.

Apologies are way overrated.

I made mea culpa the topic for a group of bloggers today --

Why? Because I was fucking with them.

Am I sorry? Fuck no.

Apologies mean nothing, vaporous ethereal words -- unless of course you back them up with actions --

So I know she knows I don't mean an apology when I say, "Fuck You? --

Please? --

Pretty Please?"